Confused.

Confession

As I'm sitting in my room just listening to my music I get a text from my best friend. She texts me and tells me to call her. Irritated, that I had to pause my music I was also happy since she hasn't talked to me in 6 days. I pause my music and I call her. After the first 3 rings I just say "fuck it" and I go to hang up. But as I'm about to hang up she answers. So then she goes "April.. I need to tell you something.. It's very important and I've been meaning to tell you for a while.." now at this point, my heart completely dropped. Concerned, I say "Viv..? What is going on?" And she proceeds to tell me that she's lesbian. She also mentioned that she kind of likes me and that's why she's been distant. Of course, I support her but I tell her that I don't feel the same and she hangs up and blocks my number.. Soo I lost a friend that day which is obviously amazing ha totally. After that phone call I couldn't think straight. I was confused.. 6 years down the drain.. just like that, I mean.. I've been thinking about her a lot lately.. Like everyday she was on my mind I just couldn't stop thinking about her no matter how hard I tried. Then it came to me. I might have feelings for her as well. Before I do jump into anything, I do want to make sure I actually like her. It's kinda stupid but I make a pros and cons list. There wasn't really that many cons the only cons were that she was just too.. Stern at times. The pros on the other hand.. She's smart, pretty, funny, nice, sweet, caring, empathetic, and her personality overall is just amazing. To be completely honest, I think it was all in my head so I just went to sleep that night. Later in the night.. I get a text from her it was about 4:30 am and my phone is hella loud so it wakes me up. The text says "Hey.. I'm sorry, I over reacted.. I was just hoping you would feel the same.. So I got really upset when you told me you didn't.. Ik that this probably ruined our friendship from me telling you I have feelings for you, but if it's possible.. Can we try this friendship again? I can't just waste 6 years like that. I also want to say, I'm sorry for bothering you this late. I just couldn't sleep. I felt terrible for what I've done and I hope you'll forgive me. Goodnight April ❤️"
Let me say it.. her message literally brought me to tears.. within a few minutes I responded with
"I understand, I get why you did what you did. If I'm being completely honest with you, I'm just confused on my sexuality.. Idk if I like you, plus I just didn't know how to react. Don't worry about it.. It didn't ruin our friendship or anything of course I would love to try this friendship again. Tbh.. After you called me I been thinking of you nonstop. I hope that.. You're doing well.. since we haven't been able to talk that much. Don't worry about bothering me in the middle of the night. If you need me, I'll be there for you no matter what. Imma get my ass back to sleep tho. Goodnight Viv❤️"
And I went back to sleep.