To You

The Letter

Dear You,

I've wanted to tell you since we we're in first grade, when we first met. In second grade, when I knew you would be my only childhood crush. In third  grade, at the end of the year when we'd have a new teacher, we'd no longer be the little kids but the ones they looked up to. In sixth grade when middle school finally started. I wanted to tell you right before you broke my twelve-year-old heart, at the county fair, where we rode the Ferris Wheel together and you watched me carry a flag on my horse into the rodeo. I had to bit back my feeling in eighth grade, because every girl seemed to be falling for, but who could help it. Your one of those people that everyone's drawn to but no one knows why. I knew I wasn't the only girl that liked you because every girl in the school did. You we're frustrated by all the girl professing their love to you, while I tried to avoid you at all cost just so you would know that I still liked you for eight years, and now we off to high school, but I know nothing will change. I'll still be thinking about you and you'll have some other girl on you mind, and I know it's never the same girl twice.

I was teased about liking you for years and you we're to but while we both denied it, I was lying.  How could I not like you? When I first came to school, I was bullied one time and you stuck up for me and know one has ever bothered me since. Even when I see you hurting people I think of that day and know you never mean to hurt anyone, but that what your problem is. You hurt everyone around you and you're never aware of it. 

While I always hope this could be the year you would wake up and see how I felt and give us a chance I know it won't happen. You'll have changed this summer and not even wanting to be my friend, you'll just see me as a class partner who'll do all your work and help you with whatever your struggling in. I know I need to let you go but change hasn't ever been my thing.

 Maybe one day you'll wake and see me as I always wished you would but by the time that happens I'll have finally moved on to someone who will care about me. You'll always be the first boy I've ever liked, and as of now the only boy I've ever liked. I know I'll probably date someone else this year but I know I'll keep coming back to you. Everyday I let go of you a little more, bit by bit. Soon my love for you will be a memory but it will have been real and I can never regret loving you.

 Love, Madi