Broken

Chapter 9

Eve sits on the edge of her bed, damp hair brushing against the small of her back as she air dries from her shower.

"If you want my lovin', if you really do. Don't be afraid, baby. Just ask me, ya know i'm gonna give it to you."

Eve furrows her brows, walking over to the window and pulling back the curtain with one finger. She looks down at Negan in the garden, wiping at his brow with the back of his arm as he tends to a tomato plant.

"Come on you stubborn fucker," Negan grumbles as he tugs at a weed. "Get the fuck away from my baby. That's it," he smiles as it comes loose, tossing it into a bucket beside him. "Look at all these fucking assholes, all round you like flies on shit because you're ripe, baby."

Negan continues to hum quietly before breaking into song once again, his low, velvety voice reaching Eve's ears as she watches him with a smile. She closes the curtain and opens the closet, taking out the one item of clothing that hangs there, a faded, green summer dress, and throws it on, along with a very unflattering pair of panties that almost reach her belly button, not that Eve cares.

Eve makes her way over to the window again, the urge to go out to him strong. He seems happy out there, happier than he has been lately anyway. But fear holds her there, refusing to allow her something as simple as stepping out of the door.

"If you feel you wanna kiss me, go right ahead, i don't mind. All you gotta do is snap your fingers, and i'll come a runnin', i ain't lyin'."

For a moment Eve feels something other than fear, something she hasn't felt in so long, that she's not quite sure what it is for a moment. Her eyes widen as she realises it's lust. She backs away from the window, sitting down on the bed as she picks at a scratch on her leg that had almost healed. A tear rolls down her cheek as her stomach rolls, her mind telling her it's dirty to feel as such, especially after everything she'd been through.

Eve hops off the bed and crawls beneath, cursing herself for allowing such thoughts to enter her head. You can't think of things like that, what would people think? They'd think you were dirty, Negan would for sure, she tells herself. Negan would never want you anyway, you're damaged.

She cries into the carpet, certain that he'll know what she was thinking and ask her to leave. Eve lies on her side, bringing her knees up to her chest and picking at her leg till it bleeds.

~

Negan takes off his gardening gloves and tosses them on the door step before heading inside.

"Eve," he calls up the stairs, surprised at not seeing her in the kitchen, as she had gotten in the habit of making him coffee after his gardening sessions. "Eve?"

Negan heads upstairs, knocking lightly on her bedroom door. The door creaks open, half closed to begin with. He steps inside, kneeling down at the side of the bed. "Eve." Negan frowns as she sniffles into the crook of her elbow. "Hey, what's wrong?" He asks softly.

She shakes her head, refusing to look him in the eye. He'll be disgusted. He'll yell, and he'll want you to leave.

"Eve, what's wrong, sweetie? You know you can talk to me about anything."

"I don't want to," she weeps.

Negan stretches out his hand, his fingers lightly brushing Eve's hair from her face. "Well that's okay. But i wish there were something i could do, i feel kinda fucking useless here." He smiles half heartedly.