A Strange LOVE

The Awakening...

I was a versatile student...
They used to call me GENIUS...
I was a top scorer in school..
But she made me to feel, who am I?...
This all started on 6th july,1996...
It was a wintery night and I was sitting on the roof listening to Gothic tunes.I was alone ,observing the night sky. It was a beautiful night,I could see almost every visible star and it seemed they all were waiting for somthing very great to happen. I was observing some constellations as usual but there was something abnormal, it was a new pattern. I felt like , I've got a heap of gold after seeing its beauty. The pattern was strange yet beautiful. I tried to form a shape from that pattern and it was a symbol...
Symbol of loneliness...
It was unlike the other constellations. I didn't know why but it made me afraid. It was so beautiful yet frightening....
There was a silence all over. The moon was reddish-brown and seemed to be bigger than ever....
The night was full of dark secrets, whispering in the form of air.
The mist covered the mountains aside. It was dark everywhere....
"Only a minute ago, i could see all the stars but now..." I exclaimed with a sigh.
I quickly paused the music and went down to my room for sleeping. I felt something uncanny that night. After all I lay down in the bed, hoping it was nothing but my imagnes and went slept......

Now I was in a dream
I was in my classroom . At the beginning only , I realised that it was a dream.
All my fellow classmates were talking with each other. No one was paying heed towards me. I tried to talk with one of my besties and what he did left me in a desolation...
He juz saw me nonchalantly and went away .
And I was like, "What the fuck it is..."
Then I remembered , it was juz a freakin' dream but it wasn't like  usual ones...
Well after that , I sat down the floor, lying against the wall...
I was thinkin' something at that time, dunno' what?...
As soon as I looked to the wall opposite to me, there was a girl...
"Now what's that!!!" I asked myself with a slight anger...
Well, that girl was really very very very gorgeous..😍😍😍
Though she was beautiful but it seemed that she was different...
I was observing her beauty...
Her long n thick brownish hairs were flying in the air ...
Her body structure was like the  Goddess of Beauty...
Her lips was like strawberries...but there was a silence in her lips...it was like, she wanna' speak something but she couldn't...
The moment,I looked into her eyes ,"oh jesus!!!"  There is a depth of oceans in her eyes...There were wantings, pain and unworthy desires...
It made my heart lighten and I got completely lost in her addictive eyes...
Her eyes were damn beautiful, the pupils seemed to be larger than that of others'... They got a greenish blue colour.
At that moment , it felt like I was looking to one of the best imagination of this universe, after all it was my imagination only...
I  wished , I could stay all my life there for observing her ...
I thought , I should propose her ...
But my heart...I felt my heart wanna' convey something ," Its isn't necessary , every beautiful thing in your life is not for your goodness sake'!!!"
Suddenly, the  girl rose up in the air and her beauty flew away in the silence like as a deo flew off the body after sometime...
She was looking pathetic..."Ohh god !!! What the hell she is ..."  I exclaimed with a great fear...
When I again looked in her eyes, "Holy shit!!!" I shouted as her eyes were bleeding...
"A minute ago, it was me who was taken with her beauty, but now...." I thought...
She looked at me with a hope, I could see a need in her eyes...a help...
Suddenly, she was disappeared without been leaving any clue..
My dream got shattered as I woke halfway my sleep...
But something was telling me , the dream wasn't end yet...
There were a lot of secrets still waiting for me and I was not ready to face 'em...

I woke up at 3:19 AM, terrified and troubled....
I wore my slippers , opened the door and went to the roof again to see , what had happened with that new constellation...but it seemed the wind god had taken time off...
As I reached on the roof , It was raining there...but the matter of fact was ...I could see all the stars clearly and yet it was raining ...I was in a complete dilemma ,what was happening there....
As looked up towards that pattern, my fear had lighten up and it was about to explode...
I went unconscious...
When I opened my eyes, I found myself in a hospital. Mumma was there with me. She said,"You will be fine, anni" I was still traumatised...
"What had happened to me,Mumma", I asked ...
"Nothing , it was juz a nightmare that made you afraid and there's a deficiency of iron in your body. No need to be serious, you'll be fine soon."
But I was still in that dilemma,"How could it be a dream, everything seemed to be realistic?", I thought...
Suddenly, I thought about that girl, it made me more and more confused...
I was in a complete trauma.
And this led to the rise of a strange feeling.
A feeling that couldn't be explained through words...
A feeling that was leading me to forgetfulness...
A feeling that was making me evil and taking me to a path, from where it seemed impossible to return...
I knew the feeling was bad n evil but didn't know why, I was in love with that feeling.
I wanted to leave it but something from inside was convincing me that I couldn't live without it.
It lured me in and I forgot every pain ...
And this awakening took me to a journey....
The journey to be an 'introvert'.....