Conniving Love

Chapter 1

*All of the things that you will read in this book are real. This is my story of the 1 year toxic relationship I was in. It will get graphic.*

It was love. But not the companionship type. No, this was a kind of love that kills. It's nasty, downright dirty. It's passionate, draining, gut-wrenching, guilty, godless. This kind of love destroys a person. It preys on the innocent, the open-minded. I still feel the rage of vengeance pulse through my fucking veins. This kind of love was bad. This kind of love was toxic.

I remember our first kiss. It was August 11th. Outside of a friend's door, grabbing my hand and pulling me back. You cupped my face and kissed me. I can only imagine how my little doe-eyed self felt at that moment. Then you said to me,

"Just wanted to get that out of the way."

You said that as if a first kiss is something to just get over with, as if it's something so small. At the time, I remember thinking how cool you sounded. I was excited. My big heart opened its arms to you instantly. Little did I know, I wasn't going to be the only girl you kissed that night...

That night, we went on a double date with my best friend to the movies. You aggressively made out with me and tried to rub up on me. My best friend was only a few chairs down. I was thoroughly embarrassed. We dropped you off after.

I noticed two girls with a bottle of liquor going into your house. You informed me that was your sister and her friend. I let it go. You didn't text me goodnight that night because you got "too drunk". I'm crying writing this because I know that's not what happened...

You had just broken up with your ex-girlfriend two weeks before. I remember telling you I felt like I was just being used to forget her. I told you I felt like a rebound. And I remember your response so clearly.

"I already rebounded."

Then, you told me about it.

"I acted like I was too drunk to walk so she would take me to my bedroom."

It was then that I did the math. You had just barely broken up with your ex. You rebounded within that two week period, and it wasn't with me. And you were drunk. It all made sense. But I waited a long while until I said anything. I don't know why. Maybe it was my kind heart telling me nobody would be that cruel to me. But it wouldn't stop repeating in my head what had happened.

The first night we kissed, made out and fooled around, you fucked someone else a few hours after. Then you fucked me two days later. And I am still in shock. I am still in disbelief. I am still disgusted...

Author's Note:

Here's the start. The beginning of my battle. It's rough, unedited. But if I didn't just type it up and throw it on here, it would've never happened. So please vote to hear more, I would love to raise awareness of toxic, abusive relationships. Feel free to correct any of my grammar or spelling mistakes. Until next time.