I should've known better. I could tell by your social media that you were what would be referred to as a "player". Or at least trying to be one. If I'm being honest, you weren't cute enough to be a player. Plus, you were never very good at secrets, as this tale will unravel.
I remember all the red flags I ignored in the beginning. I had never been in a serious relationship before. When you said that previous girls thought you were too controlling, I told you I didn't mind it.
I remember all too clearly our first time. Two days after you had sex with someone else.
You were too rough. And I relapsed back into the child I was who knew nothing about fight or flight mode. I didn't want to "put out" the second time we hung out. But you made it very clear what you wanted with those touchy hands. It's hard to think I was so naïve.
I said "stop" and "slow down" multiple times. You insisted. You were only the second person I had been with. I was the fourteenth person you had sex with. You were so comfortable with your naked self. So sexually confident. I was the complete opposite.
It didn't feel all that amazing. I didn't cum. You did though. I thought it was normal to move so fast, to just fuck. I didn't know better. Nobody warned me. Although the child within me was jumping with joy, thinking wow! Someone wanted me! There was still that thought. A feeling familiar to me. The feeling of being used.
I felt small. So small. And the words "stop" and "slow down" apparently had no meaning to you. All because I was giggling when I said them. What's wrong with me?
Author's Note:
The chapters will get longer I promise! Especially when I come back to edit. I purposely made this one shorter. Vote if you want the next chapter (:
YOU ARE READING
Conniving Love
Non-Fiction*All of the things that you will read in this book are real. This is my story of the 1 year toxic relationship I was in. It will get graphic.* Personal private stories from a bad time in my life. Sharing as a warning and lesson.
