Alexei And Grace

26 | Louder Than Words

"DO YOU THINK YOU'LL FIND a wire?"

         Alex ignored my question as he turned to draw the curtains closed. For a moment the room went dark before a lamp clicked on. "Well?" I prompted, folding my arms.

         Finally he turned to me. "Let's hope not."

         "And if you did?"

          His mouth pulled into a line as he sighed, "you don't want me to answer that, Grace."

         "I do."

         "No."

         "Yes."

         Now it was Alex's turn to fold his arms. It appeared we had come to a stand-off from which neither of us was prepared to back down. Rather than give in, Alex sighed and dropped his arms. "You're not wearing a wire, so it's irrelevant what would happen should I find you were."

         "So you don't think I'm wearing one?" The answer to this question was for some reason more important to me than anything else.

         "No, Grace," he said, "I don't."

         "So that means you trust me?"

         There was a pause that lasted a beat too long as Alex's charcoal eyes carved into me. "No."

         "Oh." I looked down to hide the hurt that I knew would be written on my face.

         "Grace–"

         "It's fine," I interrupted. "It's only been what, two years since we first met? Since I saved you from the police, and kept my mouth shut about it to boot. And now I work for you. I do what you say without question, following orders, not even expecting you to tell me what the hell is going on or what it is that you're really doing. And that's fine. It's fine, Alex. I trust you. But sure, after all of that, you don't have to trust me. I mean, why would you?" I scoffed. "Keeping silent for two years, waiting for you for two years, sure. It's fine. Fine."

         Alex's jaw flexed. "Are you finished?"

         "No!" I yelled.

         He raised a brow, waiting for more, but the truth was that I had no more to say. Nothing would ever be enough for him. I could see that now.

         "Just check for the damn wire and be done with it." I turned around so he couldn't see the tears brimming in my eyes.

         "Grace–"

         "Just do it." Of course my voice broke and betrayed me. I heard Alex sigh in response, his weight shifting as he decided what to do. I didn't care if I was irritating him. Good. Fantastic. Splendid.

         Only ten minutes ago the atmosphere between us had been completely different. It finally felt as though some of our walls were coming down. Now all of that had crumbled, and we were both back to scowling at one another.

         I tensed as I felt Alex approach behind me. He stood for a moment, lingering, probably wondering how the hell to go about this. All he had to do was pull down my damn zipper. Surely he'd had enough practice with women in the past. I stared down at the floor and pretended his hesitance didn't hurt me.

         His hands raised - I could feel them although they hadn't touched my skin - and hovered near the zipper. I gritted my teeth and tried desperately to hold in the tears behind my eyes. The room went silent and totally still as one escaped and trickled down my cheek, landing like a missile on the floor. I saw it. Alex saw it. We both heard it.