To the guy I'm falling falling for-
I first saw you at the college days for the college we're gonna go to next year. I, of course, was running late and found out we were on the same team for the activities that day. We all had to introduce ourselves and the smile you had when we met was making my heart skip a few beats. We hung out that day, but as I left I had no idea what I was getting myself into.
As the weeks and months went by, life- and another guy- got in the way. I started talking to someone, but you were always in the back of my mind, and sometimes my mind would drift to that one joke you said that made me laugh during the time we got to know each other or when you smiled and suddenly my heart skipped and my breathing hitched.
When I saw you at camp, though, that's when I knew I was in too deep. I saw you flirting with a friend of mine and it felt like my world just fell apart. The way she laughed when you said something funny or the way she acted like you were hers- it killed me. Seeing you with her hurt. Hearing the way she talked about you back in our dorm room was torture.
Things are different now but they're not right either. We talk every day. You're the only person who knows the struggles I have. You're the only one who's been able to calm me down when my anger starts to get out of hand. You're the only person I trust to read any of my poetry or novels. You're my best friend- but I think I'm I'm love with you.
I've tried pushing the feelings down. I've pushed you away. I've ignored the fact that anytime you get within a foot of me its suddenly hard to breathe or how when you hugged me when we left camp I couldn't stop smiling the rest of the day.
I say all of this to tell you- I'm done ignoring how I feel. Talking to you is the highlight of my day. Goofing off with you at camp and losing every game of air hockey on purpose to make you smile was the best time. Watching you trick and being passionate about it is amazing but terrifying because I'm constantly wondering if you'll get hurt.
I'm not sure where this is gonna go but I need to try because if I don't tell you, I'll live the rest of my life wondering what it could've been like if I faced my feelings and told you how I felt.
Yours truly,
Allycat
