Not Everyone Makes It in America

Chapter 4

Talking to Jade had been much harder than Tori expected. To be completely truthful, she wasn't even sure Jade was there. All she did was stare as if she was looking straight through her. She didn't move an inch or make the slightest sound.

It killed Tori to see her like this. Jade just looked so.. Broken. The girl who'd once been the most feared person around, fallen apart to this vulnerable, broken, lifeless pile of flesh and bones.

It'd been at least an hour that Tori stood there trying to talk to her. Nothing she said could even pull a reaction of out the girl sitting in front of her. She was ready to beg. "Jade please talk to me! Or even show me that you're in there!" Nothing happened.

Jade wanted to talk to her, she really did. She just couldn't will herself to do it. Maybe this is what she deserved; to be punished by staring speechlessly at the woman she's been waiting to see for years. All she wanted to do was crack a smile, or take a deep breath. Anything.

"Okay, I understand if you don't want to talk, or can't talk. Maybe you're not even in there, but I hope you are. If you are actually in there Jade, how about you just listen for a while?" Tori said almost pleading as she walked over and sat down beside Jade on the bed. Still no reaction from her.

"Okay Vega, I can do that. I don't think I could become deaf if I tried to punish myself." Jade thought.

Tori took a deep breath, "Look, I don't know why you're in here Jade. Only you can tell me that much. All I know is that I came to see you, and not just for you. I also kind of did it for me. I've been wondering what happened to you for years. The way you just packed up and left town like that 6 years ago, nobody could understand. The whole bunch of us Jade, we miss you." Tori's breath hitched at the end, pausing in attempt to regain her composure.

"No Vega please don't do this to me. I deserve this. I need you to leave me, I think. No don't leave me. Stay here with me. I need you." The thoughts were building up inside Jade's head again. She felt like she was going to explode.

Unknowing of the war going on in Jade's mind, Tori continued. "Cat misses you, Andre misses you, Robbie misses you, hell! Even Trina probably misses you." Realizing she left somebody out she quickly added in "And I'm sure where ever Beck is right now, he misses you. The point is, for whatever reason you're in here Jade, don't put everything on yourself." Tori gasped as she watched Jade's eyes flicker quickly from the wall to her lap and back.

"Oh my god Vega. I know I wanted to see you, but are you really that naive? Do you honestly think I'd be in here if it wasn't my fault? No. I'm sorry." Jade quickly scolded her own thoughts. It's not Tori's fault she didn't know. It was nobody's fault but her own.

By now Jade was sure Tori started talking again, but she couldn't hear it over her own thoughts. Her head felt like every emotion at once, but for some reason it felt numb. She wanted to take a deep breath but she couldn't. Her body preventing her from doing anything she wanted. She wanted to breathe. She wanted to lash out. She wanted to say something to the woman sitting next to her. She wanted to feel normal.

Finally the thoughts cleared as Tori's voice rang through her mind. "I think I'm going to go. I might come visit you again sometime soon though." The words that had brought Jade back to reality soon caused a panic to arise inside. She couldn't leave so soon, could she? What if she never came back?

Her rising panic was getting the best of her as she watched Tori get up off the bed. She looked down at her crossed legs, not wanting to watch Tori leave. Much to her own surprise she noticed a drop of water land on her pants. She was crying. Tori Vega was making her show emotions she hadn't felt in years.

Tori didn't want to leave Jade at all. She just couldn't take staring at the broken girl any longer. Of course she'd come back to visit her. As she began to walk out of the door she heard something she'd not expected to hear at all. Turning around she looked at what had surprised her.

"V-Vega... Don't leave me... Please." She stared straight into the red puffy eyes of Jade West. The girl was trembling on the bed, her hands reached up to cover her mouth in attempt to muffle the upcoming sobs.

Tori's heart broke in half watching Jade fall apart even more than she already had. "I'll come back soon. I promise Jade." And with that Tori turned back around and walked out of the door.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Sleeping that night seemed almost impossible for Jade. Even though her encounter with Vega had been hours ago it felt like it'd been mere minutes. Remembering what had happened earlier was almost painful, and not the type she felt she deserved. This was cruel.

Inside her head it felt like her thoughts were screaming at her. For the first time in years she had spoken. It'd been so long that she tried to will herself into speaking, but to no avail. And then all of a sudden she did it involuntarily? Of course Vega was special, but she actually brought Jade back to her feelings. She wasn't quite sure if that was a good thing yet though.

Tossing and turning Jade finally sat up in her bed, trying to clear her head. A million things cluttered her mind at once. The most prominent thought being "What if she finds out why I'm in here and she never wants to see me again?" The idea of never seeing Tori again sickened her.

Vega was important to her, she made her feel almost as if she was normal. For god's sakes she cried in front of the woman today after not showing a physical emotion for years. Of course she was important.

Jade couldn't dwell on these thoughts any longer. It was ripping her apart to think that Tori would never come back again. She had to lie back down. Slowly lowering herself back down onto the bed, she tried to coerce herself into sleeping. Eventually her mind began to fade away. With closing eyes the thoughts of Tori became numb as she drifted off into slumber.

AUTHORS NOTE:

I'm so sorry for not updating sooner guys! I had some of the worst writer's block ever.

I come bearing good news however!

1. I've totally gotten a handle on where the story is for sure going.

2. I got to talk to quite a few of you guys, and addressed some of your concerns!

3. I'm likely gonna update a lot quicker now that I've pushed this chapter out into the net!

So that's pretty much it for the good news, now onto a few other things!

Okay, so as many of you know Killing Daddy is set in Philadelphia, but I decided it'd be best to change the location to better accommodate Jade's story.

As for the questions toward legal accuracy, you'll see in due time. I'd also like to thank OneHorseShay for giving me a very good way to spin the whole legal situation!

Please don't murder me for any grammatical issues! Once again I kind of pushed this chapter to get an update out! (I also apologize for the blandness it may have.)

Feel free to read, review, follow or favourite! Your feed back is much appreciated! ~Maddie