Chapter 37

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What the fuck am I doing with my life? I fell in love with a psychopath, broke it off to be safe, fell in love with a broken soul, messed around with him behind my brother's back, got caught, got pregnant early, married the guy a year after I had the child, and now I'm totally confused about who I love. My mind is all sorts of fucked up. I woke up crying in my sleep a few times, but never woke anyone else up, thank God. It was now 6:30 a.m. and I had to get ready for my shift at the diner. I took a shower, threw on my uniform, put on some makeup, and headed out.

(uniform)

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(uniform)

(makeup) I drove Henry's red pick up truck since he doesn't start work until 10:30 p

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(makeup)
I drove Henry's red pick up truck since he doesn't start work until 10:30 p.m. My shift ends around that time, so I'm good. I put in my Queen CD and began listening to my absolute favorite song,'Too Much Love Will Kill You.' It was ironic considering what I've been going through with Patrick and Henry. Those two weren't making it any easier either. They both treat me like a queen and call me cute pet names, so I really am confused about my feelings.
I walked into the diner, clocked in, and began my shift. Things were slow at first, but the morning rush came in no time. I was practically running between tables and the kitchen just to make sure people wouldn't wait too long. The rush soon simmered down as I saw a few familiar faces sit down at the table I was given. It was Belch, Patrick, and Victor all sitting together waving at me. I walked over swiftly and said the line that my manager always makes me say.
"Welcome to the Derry Diner. My name is (Y/N), and I'll be your server this morning. Can I start you guys off with some drinks?" I managed to say it without entirely laughing my ass off, but the guys can never hold it back. They were practically crying whenever they heard me say it.
Vic calmed down and said,"2 coffees, 3 waters, and 1 chocolate milkshake."
I cracked a smile,"I wrote it down before I came to the table because you guys are too fucking predictable." I winked and booped Patrick's nose. I walked away to the kitchen to get the drinks.
Patrick's POV:
God damnit she's so beautiful! (Y/N) is giving me goosebumps being in that uniform. It's nothing like what I bought her, but it's still a uniform. I preferred mine on her though.

(the 'uniform' Patrick got you) Every time I see her, I feel as though nobody else exists! She is the only person who matters to me

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(the 'uniform' Patrick got you)
Every time I see her, I feel as though nobody else exists! She is the only person who matters to me. I watched her as she walked away to the kitchen. The way her hair moved when she walked, her hips and add swaying with every delicate step she took. It was like watching a Goddess fall from the heavens. I must've zoned out because Vic and Belch were waving their hands in my face to get my attention.
"HELLO?! EARTH TO PATRICK HOCKSTETTER!" Belch laughed as he shook me by my shoulders.
Vic laughed,"Pat, you zoned out again. Your face is 100% blushing as well. What is going on with you?"
I simply looked down into my palms that were now dripping with sweat. I looked back up at the guys and sighed,"I'm still in love with her."
Belch nodded and Vic looked confused,"So wait, you and (Y/N) were like a thing? Why am I just hearing about this?"
I wiped my hands on my ripped, black jeans,"We didn't tell anyone at all, but I kinda said it when I was drunk. Belch and (Y/N) were the only two not drunk at the time, so we didn't think it was necessary to tell you or Henry. Please don't tell Henry! He'll skin my ass if he knows what I did with her!"
Vic looked even more confused,"What did you do to her?"
I slightly stuttered when I said,"We might've fucked a few times, lost our virginity to each other, made out in the woods and at the Quarry, and basically fell in love before she was with Henry. Nothing against him or anything, he's like a brother to me, but (Y/N) and I broke off our relationship so she and Belch wouldn't drift apart. You guys have a strong bond, and I didn't wanna ruin that. So, I stepped down, and now she's with Henry." A tear rolled down my left cheek and I quickly wiped it away hoping no one would notice. 
Belch turned to me,"Thank you for thinking about me and her well being. That's the kind of guy I wanted (Y/N) to be with. I like Henry, but she could've done  better."
(Y/N) walked back with drinks and set them on the table. She threw straws at us playfully and said,"Your food will be out in a few minutes, mkay?"
I laughed,"We didn't even order."
She gave me that classic (Y/N) smirk, the one that gives me chills every time I see it, grabbed my face, and said,"Don't worry, I know what you like and what you don't." She let go of my face, smiled, and walked away. Why was she so seductive? She has me wrapped around her finger and doesn't even realize it! Or maybe she does, and just enjoys playing with my heart. Either way, it doesn't change the fact that I need her in my life. I played with my coffee as the guys talked. My mind flooded with thoughts, images, and even memories of her. Her essence consumed my whole world, why didn't I make my move earlier?

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