Prolouge .
I sat in the front row; right next to Danielle and Liam’s mother, Mrs. Payne’s body shook violently as she tried to control her sobs. I was tempted to reach out a hand and give her a reassuring squeeze, but how could I reassure her if I wasn’t sure myself, of anything anymore really. Everyone looked at us as nothing more than mourners of this tragic accident, they had no idea what had happened behind the scenes.
What forced Liam to take his own life.
Why he was being distant from Danielle, Why I seemed to take it harder than anyone else.
But we do, the thought is lurking around all four of us, tauntingly whispering down our necks,
“You killed him.”
How could we not blame ourselves? Harry’s shocked voice rang through my head ,
“He’s dead.” I shuttered.
Nobody ever though it would go this far.
Liam’s father stood up front, next to the now closed casket, talking about his perfect puppy son, He always came home on break, and treated his girlfriend right, and how he was always there for his friends. He looked on the verge of tears, I can’t imagine how much pain he was going through, or maybe I could. But what he didn’t know is that we weren’t there for him.
It was a harmless prank, but now we are all in way too deep. How could you tell the police that your best friend killed himself because of you?
I would be lying if I told you I didn’t miss him, I miss him every god damn day. Everyone knew we were close, But no one would ever understand what Liam Payne truly meant to me. The kind of close we wanted to be was forbidden by nearly everyone Management, Danielle, and fans.
I could feel the hot tears on my cheeks, but I tried to hide them. I could hide everything. The knot in my heart, the hole in my stomach, and the void in my existence. But I couldn’t hide my tears. What kind of sick joke is that?
I glanced out the side of my eye and caught Danielle. She was looking down, her elegant curls that Liam adored so much hanging limply around her dark features. Her fingers were fidgeting with the off-pink tissue that his mother had given her.
I felt bad for them, sure. But I felt the worst for myself. It may sound selfish, but it’s true. The love of my life stolen away by a bottle of liquid and four stupid minds. Maybe I should be calling Liam a coward, I hate him for leaving me here. But he did what he thought would bring him to me. I think that’s bravery.
Finally, when his father was done, he tossed a somber look my way. I stood up slowly and quietly, shuffling up the few carpeted steps, clutching the paper in my hand. I looked at the crowd, then down at the note.
“I have a confession,” my voice shook as someone coughed, and Danielle’s head snapped up. “I love Liam.” My voice shook even more as I spoke, tears threatening to pour out yet again.
“But, I know what you’re all thinking, ‘Everyone Loves Liam. He’s perfect’.” My shaking was now visible. “But what none of you could ever understand, is that I was, am, and forever will be, in love with Liam Payne.” I waited for the gasps to die down, and read what could only be hurt etched onto Danielle’s face.
“You know the feeling when you have your first real kiss? The butterflies and fireworks in your stomach? Well, I had that with Liam. And it’s my fault he’s gone." I shook my head.
“Liam if you’re up there, I’m sorry” With that I erupted into a sob.
A/N- Hey there ! this first chapter was written by the lovely Colete Let us know what you think (: xox
