Dono Jud Ke Judaa (Slow Updates)

Takraar

She is water

Soft enough
to offer life
Tough enough
to drown it away

~ Rupi Kaur

***

Song of the chapter : Believer by Imagine Dragons.

***

I tie my shoelaces and look at Hriday. He's asleep. It's still 5.30 am and dark outside. I can come back before he wakes up.

So ke bhi faayda nahi. Neend mujhe ab aati hi nahi. Aaj se ye office jaayenge shayad. Achha hi hai. Jitna dur rahe utna sahi.

I leave the house discreetly making sure that I have my pepper spray in the pocket. And then I start running.

Mujhe jab bhi kuch sochna ho ya mai kisi baat se stressed hoti hu tab mai yahi karti hu. I feel exhilarated. Running is the only physical exercise I can do.

The neighborhood is good here so I feel safe. Jyada dur jaana bhi sahi nahi. Kho gayi toh.. phone bhi nahi hai mere paas. Jo dabba sa phone tha vo toh toot gaya accident me.

I run faster when the flashes of that accident appear in my mind. Ekansh mere dhoklu, tum gaye bhi toh aise? Letter likh ke? Letters. Sahi time pe mil jaayenge? Kab hoga sahi time? Kya usne sirf mere liye likhe hai? Ya Hriday ke liye bhi? Kuch samajh me nahi aa raha.

Ye letter Hriday ke haath nahi lagna chahiye bass. Kisi ke bhi for that matter. Chhupaa ke toh rakh di hu sahi se. I figured out ke ye letter usne daada daadi ke help se likha isliye he wanted to meet them first. Mai unse saamne se baat nahi karungi unless vo mujhe kuch saamne se puchhe.

I start running faster. Physical pain jitna jyada hoga utna emotional pain kam lagega. The exertion will make me forget about things for a while.

The sun finally starts rising and the sky illuminates a blend of reds and purples. Ab wapas jaana hoga.

"Oh shit!" I mutter under my breath when I look at the door. Ye toh vo number wala lock hai. Shit shit shit!

I ring the doorbell and cringe when I look down at myself.

Swagat kijiye aapke paseene me lathpath bahu ka jo kurti ke neeche sports shoes pehen ke subah ki taaza hawa kha ke aayi hai.

The door opens and I hold my breath. It's Aashish kaka that opens the door and I sigh in relief.

"Sorry agar maine aapki neend bigaadi. Vo mujhe lock ka passcode nahi pata tha" I say getting inside.

"Nahi nahi. Mai toh subah chhe baje hi uth jaata hu" he says.

"Aur baaki sab?" I ask and then internally slap myself. Ye bhi koi sawaal hai? "Maaf kijiye kaka-"

"Daada daadi uth gaye hai. Vo dono roz jaldi hi uthte hai. Baaki sab 7-8 baje tak uth jaate hai" he smiles. "Aapke liye chai banaau?"

"Nahi aap kyu banaayenge mere liye chai?"

"Mai yaha ka naukar hu. Mujhe ussi ke paise milte hai".

Oh.

This feels weird. Not the good weird. Slumdog millionaire jaise lag raha hai. Subah subah khud ko slumdog bol rahi hu. Ugh! I seriously need chai. But more than that I need a shower.