To My Crush

35 7 8

by Aria_Castle16

by Aria_Castle16

Avery,

You put the pen and paper in front of me and gesture to it, an eyebrow raised.

Where do I start? The way you study the world with those brown, unreadable eyes, almost like an outsider looking in, makes me want to look in to them all day, reading the fleeting flashes and emotions in them. Those long, worn fingers tapping a rhythm on the table only you know. And your hair. Curly, breezy, and the richest brown color. I wonder if it's as soft as I've always thought it would be.

I see you sitting cross-legged on the floor in my room like I've always imagined you would, studying the pictures on my wall that I've always imagined I would show you.

I want to show you my room someday. I want you to meet my dog and my mom and I want you to sit on my front porch and tell me about your day. I want to sit in your Silver car and watch your long fingers trail in the wind out the window. I want to smooth down that crease between your eyebrows when your confused and I want to walk holding your hand downtown and hear all those little thoughts you so often keep to yourself. But most of all, I want to see your smile, the rare one that's quicker than the flash of a camera, the one that makes your eyes light up, and know it's for me. That smile that makes me catch my breath, that smile that puts everything into perspective and makes the world bright, simple, and hopeful again.

You're standing again, but this time you're standing at the door, about to leave through it. You stretch out your hand to me. I could take it. I could let you lead me back in to the real world, back to school, back to the corner next to your locker and to where I tell you what I've been trying to put in to words hiding behind this pen. I could see your real smile and see those unfathomable eyes and try to guess what each little flicker means. But I watch you leave with a sad smile.

My chains are my doubts, and they keeping me firmly in place. Love always and forever,

Aria