The one who broke me

Dear, True Love

Dear, True Love

You die in 2 ways. Some die happy with their soulmate. Others die alone with no one. I'm that person who will be alone. Now you might be thinking, you're 17, you should at least love someone. I do.. but they don't love me back.

There is this guy in my school. He's not popular or anything, he's just, neutral. I wanted to have a chance with him, I really did. But, unfortunately, for me he found someone already. Someone other than me. He was a childhood friend and I never knew I would have feelings for. I never even knew I had feelings for his bright smile, gorgeous eyes, or great personality. 

I only realized it when he was with that girl, I felt a pain in my stomach. An empty hole in my heart going deeper, and deeper, and so deep it looked like it was continuous. I can't tell him I have feelings at all, I wish I could. I just want to go up to him, grab his face, and pull him in. Going into a passionate kiss with him. But not all things are a dream come true.

Life is difficult and I understand that. Of course, I wish I could be with him, but nothing works. I can't tell him. I can't ruin his relationship, even if I love him a lot. I guess, I just have to.. let go. Feelings like these can't be forgotten. Sometimes I would write letters, pretending I would send it to him but, I couldn't, just like this one.

All of this is a dream, a fantasy that would never happen. As much as I want it to, it won't happen. The fear inside of me is torturing me. Making me so afraid, I wouldn't know what to do. Will I ever tell this guy? Probably not. Will I ever find true love? Maybe. All things have a chance of happening. Maybe I will find true love but I probably won't. Too sad for something so precious have to be let go of. If I ever send this, please know, I love you.

Love, Your Lover