Written Shorts

I'm Sorry

I've never been good with emotions.
I've never been good with feelings.
One things for sure is that, I use to like you.

Now I'm an emotional wreck.

Nothing happened of course, I just lost the feeling. The feeling of being loved.
Sure I have friends and sure I have a family. but I don't know if I'm loved?
There's no way to prove that they love me?
Is there?
And don't say a lie detector, their so precise they could give false results.

When I liked you, I had this need this need to see you, or at least try to be near you.
I know creepy right?
God I'm so creepy.
But when I liked you I didn't feel as empty.
Ya' know? It was nice to feel all bubbly inside.

Now?
I've accepted the fact that I'm probably going to die alone.

Sad, right?

If there's someone that had a crush on me...
I'm pretty sure their over it by now.

Why would anyone like me? let alone you?

Why would anyone choose me?

A pathetic, useless, nobody.

When they could chose Anyone and EVERYONE else, who's better than me in nearly Every way!

So Why Me?

I know that I'd have no chance.
None at all.
Compared to her, or him.
Just, Compared to Anyone. (I guess.)

I'm not some play girl waiting to swoon into someone's arms.

I've learned my lesson, not that I've had much to learn from.
Just young foolish love, a heart break, a playboy, and someone who used me for popularity. Not sure why though, I was just some outcast.
That relationship didn't last long, of course, I ended it after the first week. R.I.P.

I'd just break your heart anyways.
To protect you from Me.
I'd just feel as if I were playing with your feelings.
That'd crush my heart.

So I'm sorry.
I'm sorry to my family, about how terrible of a person I was and still am.
I'm sorry about my 'temper', and how I get upset over 'nothing'.

I'm sorry to my Friends.
I'm sorry I don't, often, like to smile.
I'm sorry that I tend to pretend.

I'm sorry to myself.
I'm sorry that I hate myself and feel depressed over the simplest things.
I'm sorry that I have Anxiety and over think Everything.
I'm sorry for being So Stupid.
And I'm sorry for the Many (nearly) Sleepless Nights.

I'm sorry to the future Guys and Gals.
I'm sorry I Can't love you, or Show how much I love you.
I'm sorry I'm bad at words.
I'm sorry that I can't be there for you the way you are for me, and when I am I don't know what to do.

I'm sorry I say sorry to everything.

I'm sorry you have to put up with me.

I'm sorry for Everything.
but most importantly, THANK YOU.
Thank you for being at my side when everyone seems to leave. Thank you. Just Thank You For Being There.

-9 Sept 2018-