Author's Notes

9/1/18

Hey, I have a real quick status update for you guys.

First and foremost, I'm sorry that I haven't been updating recently. Lots of stuff has happened lately, and I'm not emotionally ready to get over my writer's block.

The main reason why I'll be stalled for a bit longer is because my dog was hit and killed instantly by a car yesterday. This November, we would've had him for 11 years. We got him and his brother from a rescue shelter as newborn puppies all those years ago.

Obviously, it's been an emotional rollercoaster seeing as it just happened yesterday, and I'm still not my normal self. I ended up not going to work today at the barn I work at because it would've been too stressful to try and take up my normal workload like I would any other day. Thank the Lord that my bosses completely understood, and said they'd let me know if anything came up.

God blessed me so much with my dogs, and I'll always remember the days when I could hold him in one hand and the most recent days where he'd lay across my lap and prevent all movement, as one does to their human. My dogs are all blessings, and I'll never forget any of them.

God also blessed me with the greatest friends I could ever ask for. One of them in particular -- you guys know her as K, dropped everything and came over to comfort me 20 minutes after I called her. She stayed with me for an hour or so, just standing on the driveway talking to me and hugging me when the cremation people took him away. It was hard, but knowing she was there for me helped so much. I couldn't have done it without her.

Yesterday evening, after she had left, my depression started to kick in. It acted as an emotional blocker, and talking to me was like talking to a brick wall. 

I couldn't smile. I couldn't laugh. I couldn't even cry.

I still can't even go into our living room because he was in there.

Losing my dog was like losing a part of myself. I know I'll never be the same.

My dogs all raised me to be the animal-loving crazy person I am today, and I couldn't ask for better life-long companions. 

I'm getting emotional as I write this, and tears are indeed cascading down my face, but I'll be okay. I know that he is watching over me with my Lord and Savior, and I will most definitely see him in paradise.

Rest in peace, puppy. We love you <3

-Lilly