I Can't Sing Alone (Bennoda)

Hurt

Mikes POV

I can't cry. I can't cry because he might be watching me. I can't scream because he might hear me. And I can't die because he will stop me.

Of course turning him away hurt. I just can't look at him without hating myself. I wasn't good enough for him.

He doesn't have to prove himself, I just have to forgive myself. I don't want him to commit ghost suicide.

Seeing Chester is like breathing again. But realizing you hurt him crushes your lungs.

I stood up and noticed something on my dresser.

A note.

It said, 'It's not your fault.' Like hell it isn't.

Chester's POV

I wish he could know why I did this, but he is just pushing me away.

I want him to know I love him. I want him to know it's not his fault.
.................

Mike has been crying the whole night, screaming the whole night, and panicking the whole night.

Seeing someone you love as a ghost really fucked him up, but at least he didn't commit suicide. That would kill me, again.

He blames himself, that I know.
I just want him to know it's my fault. Not his.

I'm the one that doesn't deserve to live. Honestly they were better off without me. But I can't leave Mike alone with the way he is, he's way too hurt.

I guess I'm on suicide watch 24/7.

Mike's POV

     I stood up from the bed, pacing. Thoughts racing like cars around the track that is my brain. Proposing new ideas of suicide, of ways to join Chester. Maybe I could just slowly kill myself. Not eat, sleep, maybe cut. That way dying will be easier, because I'll be much closer already.
     Cuts, well cuts heal. Overtime the crimson liquid dries and scabs leaving behind a scar.
     Well, why not try it. Walking to the bathroom I shut the door. Thinking twice I locked the door. Grabbing a razor and breaking of the tip of it, pulling out the silver blades.
     The first slice was easy and smooth. So was the second. And the third. And the fourth. It was calming. Like the Day Meeting the Night. (Wink Wink)
     I stood up from the floor and flushed the toilet, making it seem like I used the restroom.Pulling my sleeves down I exited. I opened the door to a face, Chester's face, "Mike can we talk?" "About what, Chester?" I growled. "Well for starters, Did you miss me?" He asked his eyes shining with hope.
     The question took me by surprise making me realize I don't actually know.

(Unedited)