Unintended Romance - A Zanvis Fanfiction

~Part Eleven~

Zane's P.O.V.
I struggle to open my eyes as my eyes are stuck together by my dried tears. I'm in my pitch black room, absolutely no light thanks to my blinds and curtains. Where's my stupid phone? I feel around my room, too lazy to turn on the light. It must be downstairs, it must be... I open my bedroom door, but instantly regret it as the new light stings my eyes. It's not even that bright, just the sun shining through the downstairs' windows. I slowly walk down each step one by one, my head really starting to hurt. "Maybe we should get you some water, haha." "You're probably just dehydrated, since you've waken up you haven't had anything to drink I guess." I sigh as I think about yesterday. I wasn't paranoid, I wasn't dehydrated. I finally reach the kitchen and pour a small glass of water with one of Garroth's whiskey glasses. I forgot to do the dishes, his prized whiskey glasses are all thats left. Either that or Laurence's nasty lookig shot glasses that say '#Qweeen'. Yuck.

"Also, has anyone told you you have a nice head of hair?" I start taking small sips from the glass."It's so thick and healthy, it feels really nice in your hands, you know?" I find it hard to swallow as my cheeks start to flush, wether it's from embarrassment, frustration or flattery, I'm not sure."Look, Zane, I can't deny the obvious, I do like you, I know the day before you were yelling at Garroth that you're straight, and I may have pushed your boundaries enough for you to be uncomfortable." I shudder, thinking back to the way he looked at me."I, I know what you're going to say, but, I want this, I really do, what I did last night was all me, all real feelings." I can still see that picture, hear his exact words. All Me, all real feelings MY ASS! My head is spinning, probably from all the crying last night... At least I can look back without tearing up. What time is it? I look at the clock above the coffee maker, reading 5:57 am. Well that's what I get for sleeping in with Travis and crying myself to sleep in the afternoon; waking up early...

As I drink the last drop from my glass I continue my mission. Maybe I should try calling it using the landline? I start to dial in my number into the very dusty cordless phone. Since Garroth Laurence and I all have cell phones we don't really use the landline that much. Garroth... I don't know who I'm mad at more; Garroth, Aphmau or Travis. As the home phone is dialing I keep an ear out for any noise. After a few rings from the phone I give up, ready to press hang up, until someone picks up on the other line. "Hello? Zane? Is that you?" My heart stops as I hear Travis' groggy voice through the phone. It's the same voice he had when giving me hickeys;"Just calm down." I immediately hang up. Damnit! Of course I leave my phone there. Probably on his night stand, when we were watching Netflix, and he- I freeze, I feel around my neck that I still have the full coverage mask on. I run to the bathroom, take off the mask and-"Damnit!" I run my fingers over the still prominently coloured and swollen marks on my neck. Some are faded, more purples and browns than blues, some marks are yellow, almost completely gone. Another reason to stay inside I suppose...

All of a sudden there are knocks at my door. Loud and quick knocks. My heart skips a beat. I know exactly who's at the door, I just don't want to answer. I stay as still and as quiet as I can be, and just wait for him to go away. I can't face him yet. There are more knocks, still fast and loud, I still don't move an inch, I should, but I'm still a huge coward. Maybe I should open the door, I mean, I wasn't lying when I did say I had feelings for him... "Do you know I'm going to say that maybe I'm not as straight as I thought I was," "If you're trying to win my heart with more compliments it's not going to work, I've already fallen for you." I take a quiet step towards the door. I can do this... I take another step, and I stop. What am I doing? What am I going to say to him? I can't... I take another step, no, it doesn't matter, I should at least tell him what he did was wrong... I turn the handle, slowly open the door, and no one's there. Well, there goes that chance...

Before I could shut the door, I notice a paper bag sitting on my porch. Really Travis? A gift? Worst timing, he has no morals... I pick it up and take it inside even though my mind tells me not to. I sharply inhale before I open the bag and hold my breath. I'm prepared for some cheesy apology, with a teddy bear, and chocolates, almost like it's a Valentine. I was surprised to pull out my phone. My phone? I thought he'd use this to try to get me to talk to him. Why would he give it back? My curiosity is killing me, so I keep looking through the bag. The next thing I pull out is the mask I wore a few nights ago, the one he took off so we could kiss."You know, you should show people you full face more often..." "Looking for this?""Wh-Why did you steal my mask?""Because I wouldn't be able to do this..." My face is starting to flush again as I gently brush the tips of my fingers over my lips. That was my first kiss, probably my last, but I liked it... Grrr I'm getting distracted, darn you Casanova! I shake away my thoughts and memories as I pull out a small book, it looks like some kind of note book, an old journal. There was a sticky note on it. Before I could read it I crumpled it and threw it onto the ground. What am I doing? Little did I know that the sticky note was covering the title of the book; "Travis Valcrum's High School Freshman Year Diary". I look down through the bag, there were four other books. I pull them out, looking at each of their titles; "Travis Valcrum's High School chool Sophomore Year Diary",
"Travis Valcrum's High School Junior Year Diary",
"Travis Valcrum's High School Senior Year Diary",
"Travis Valcrum's College Freshman Year Diary". I start to tremble, why would Travis Gove me something so personal? Does he want me to keep them? Does he want me to read them? I quickly pick up and un-crumple the sticky note to the best of my ability. It reads,
Zane,
I don't expect you to forgive me, I was the true coward, not you. I know you, I knew you would never give me a chance with so many people around. You're scared of getting hurt, I understand that. Garroth Aphmau and I had the idea to just give us some space so you're more comfortable. I shoud've been more honest about my feelings instead of being shady. I never wanted to manipulate you or hurt you, I wasn't lying when I said that my feelings were true. To show you, here is my proof.
I did, still do and always will love you, Travis

What the hell am I supposed to do now? Read five years worth of his adolescent thoughts? No thank you! I place the stack of books neatly on the counter, and throw the sticky note into the garbage. I need to take my mind off this. Screw it, I am a coward. That's all I'll ever be... I start to place the stacked glasses in the sink into the dishwasher. I don't know and or care where Garroth is. He might have been right about my sexuality, which is still none of his business, but him going behind my back acting like he cares about me and does the best thing for me is absolute Bolshevik! I press the button to start up the dishwasher, it humming lowly as the wash cycle starts. It's nice to have some ambient sound so I'm not completely crowded by my thoughts. I've always had to put on some kind of white noise when alone. I've always been alone, I don't necessarily enjoy being alone. I look at the clock that reads 6:13 am. Well this is going to be a long day...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hello, friends! It's been a while 😅 a very long time, so I want to apologize. Atleast now that I've finished highschool (I graduated woot) and I don't know how long quarantine will last I'm sure that I will be more motivated. I have a good idea of where I want to take it, which is why it's taken me literal years to finish this stupid thing. Anyways, like a promised a looooong time ago, here are the shout outs for the theories!

Thank you KittyChanYT , DesiredAngel365 and 20roman
:) There will be more soon to come