The sound of my alarm rang through my ears. 6 in the morning. The thought of going to school is honestly sickening and I just rather wouldn't go in today. I usually don't mind school but today I was not feeling it. Jade most likely went to a party or something idk. She doesn't come back from one of her little tantrums for literally 2 days so it's probably going to be a free house so i guess I can skip school today.
After what felt like a blink of an eye, I looked at my phone realising I must have dosed off for a while, 10:43.
I just stayed there in bed, thinking about how different everything will be. My grandma will 100% make me go to school every day, and I'll have to make new friends. Something that I'm not too good at. I'm a very awkward person and I tend to be a bit of an introvert, but once you get too know me I'm a huge personality. The only people I can be like that around are Gianna and Tamzin, just because I've know them since I was 3 and we've been best friends ever since then I guess. It's gonna be hard leaving them, I can't even imagine how the boys are at this new school
Last year, was the start of a a very problematic relationship with my boyfriend Averton, and he thought he could manipulate me into thinking he had the right to hurt me, both mentally and physically. At first, he was all I could ask for, kind, caring affectionate etc.. But one time, we argued over if I could go over to Gianna's and he obviously did not approve. Resulting in him throwing a huge punch to my mouth. He said he was sorry, he said he'd never do it again. But I loved him at the time, so I trusted him. And time after time he hurt me, he swore It would be the last. This carried on for at least 9 months until I just cracked. I couldn't take it anymore. He would be kissing on other girls like it was nothing, and I was practically living in a bubble with him. So i attempted to end it all and kill myself, but obviously it didn't work. I'm not going to try again, for the sake of my family and friends. I'm just going to try and sort myself when I'm there.
Hopefully I can stay away from boys. Who knows, I don't know if I can trust a boy ever again.
So i don't really know what happens from now, but atleast I'll escape from him for good when I move to Florida to my grandmas house.
I could feel the bags under my eyes basically weighing me down as I stretched, and then pulled the fluffy duvet off me. I leave in 2 days, so I should probably start packing my stuff. I don't have a lot of clothes but I have a lot of things to remember Utah and all my friends by. I turned my speaker and started to play "Negative energy" by Trippie (it's fully such a good song) and started packing up my stuff whilst listening to music.
A few hours passed 2:23 , and my suitcase was full to the rim and I just about got everything in. I heard I had a text from my phone so I picked myself up from the floor and checked who it was. It was Gianna and Tamzin on our group chat.
Weirdos🤙🏾💗🤑
Gigi- Aye May why the fuck you not at school? I hope you not trying anything again I'm worried. and Tam where the fuck are you both. I'm by myself
Me- Sorry Gi I didn't feel like coming in I don't wanna see him. Love you.
Gigi- I love you mae see me before you leave no questions k
Me- of course <3
I smiled at the text, Tam and Gi were devastated when they found out I overdosed. They came to my house and they were actually the reason why I'm alive, which in a way I'm thankful for. Gi has always been the protective one in the group and would always try and keep me away from Averton and Tam has always been the one with the biggest sense of humour. They do really care and I love them for that and I always will. I don't know how I'll cope without them, they will always come first to me aswell as Jade
I really hate the fact that Jade is sending me away, but at the end of the day she really is doing this for me. Jade is more like a motherly figure to me since are mom is very rarely home because of her job and my dad left us when we were really young which makes my blood boil, especially knowing that he chooses not to even text to see how his daughters are doing. My fists clench at the thought of it and I felt my face going red with anger, I brushed it off and decided to go down and get some food.
As I ran to the kitchen and saw a piece of paper and some writing on the counter with $20 :
maeve-
I went to Jazmins party, idk when I'll be back.
Order a pizza.
love you
jade x
I put the paper down and sighed, this happens a lot. Me and Jade argue and she goes off to parties so I'm used to being alone at this point. I feel like I take jade for granted a little, at least I'll leave her so she has a little bit of peace without me bothering her.
I decided that I'd order a pizza, a vanilla milkshake and some fries since I haven't eaten all day and I'm starving. I slumped down onto the sofa and turned Netflix on in the background whilst I went on my phone, I needed to look at some schools in Florida to go to. There was one right down the road from my grandmas called "Piper High School" so I guess I'll check it out, it has a low rating but im not expecting much because it's Florida. A text notification popped up.
Weirdos🤙🏾💗🤑
Tam- Sorry Gi had to skip today I can't walk axel came round last night
I smirked at the message. Tam hooks up with so many boys, although I'm not jealous. I want a relationship, someone who loves me, but I'm beginning to believe that's not going to happen.
Tam- mae I love you bby me and gi are going to be so lost without our lil nigga :(. Let's go have a good time tommorow, that skinny white hoe Payton having a party.
I can't stand parties, there just not my thing. I prefer like small get togethers and just chilling rather than music, alcohol, horny boys and desperate girls. I guess you could say I'm more of the innocent kind of girl. I guess I'll go though seeming it's going to be a very long time until I'm back in Utah.
Just as I was going to look at the text that my phone had just got I heard loud knocking at the door, pizza man. I slid on some sliders and threw my hair in a bun and then the knocking continued but louder this time.
"Just a minute!" I said struggling to the door
I finally go to the door and opened it, revealing someone who I wasn't expecting. My heart began to pound and I felt my legs go jelly. Averton.
thoughts?- mani
