You Don't Know It's YOU! #ToAllTheBoysContest Entry

You Don't Know It's YOU!

Dear "You Don't Know It's You",

I love you. Yes, you. And I can't tell you. Because you're my best friend. And a girl. And I don't think you'd go for that from your Bestie. Plus, I'm nervous to come out right now. Maybe some day I'll tell you. But for now, I'm leaving it to these pages to keep the secret.

I'm hoping you didn't notice my crush when I was on the yearbook staff last year, and got so many pictures of you in the yearbook. That picture of you standing; your hand behind your ear holding your blonde hair back. Your lips slightly parted, like you were thinking of all kinds of things. I wish it was me. But I know it wasn't.

You couldn't like me that way. It's awful. I don't know what to do. I can't tell you. But I cannot be away from you either.

This letter is helping. I can breath a little easier letting you know, but really, I'm not telling you. But it's having a bit of an affect that at least I'm not holding it inside anymore. I feel safer with my secret here, between the pages. Safe.

Because I almost told you. When you came over, and sat next to me. It was like when we were younger, having our slumber parties. You asked to see my book of poetry, and I mentioned there were some poems I'd never show anyone. Ever. You seemed curious about that. But there are some poems I just can't show you. Ever. Because a lot of them are about you.

About your hair. Your legs. Your lips. What I'd like to do to those lips. In that moment, what would you say if I pressed mine against yours very quickly? I wanted to. I moved away quick so I wouldn't. Did you notice? Did I give myself away?

Whatever happens after this senior year, I can never tell you. This secret will stay safe, within the pages of this journal. Maybe I'll look back at it someday. But most of all, I can never tell you. I'd probably lose you forever.

-Keep my secret,

-Anna