Love equals You

Ali (Winter 2000)

*Warning: contains scenes of drug taking.*

Hi all!! I'm writing this story having had it in my head for a long time now. Please comment and vote if you like it. It's really encouraging when I get reads, votes or comments. Thank you all to any who have read what I've written so far....

"Go and get some ciggies for me will you love" My English mother Amanda asked me with her last cigarette in her mouth, handing me a five pound note.
"And get some sweets for yourself with the change".
She added, already turning herself back to what she had been doing before.
Burning heroin on a foil wrapper, using another five pound note rolled tightly to resemble a straw, to suck up the vapours.
"Ok mama". I said, pulling my ten year old self from my seat, a shabby faux velvet sofa that she had once been so proud of.

Her drug taking was now in plain sight, before she had taken pains to hide it from me, not realising at such a young age, that addiction got worse with time not better, and the things she did to get the drugs was starting to cause me anxiety. Maybe it's time I told someone, I wondered, but who would I tell?

Not my teachers, no way, I would be bang in foster care before I could blink my eyes, it had happened to my friend Joe, he was now living with his crazy aunt and his five cousins, and only got to see his mum once a week.

Not my mother's family, my mother never spoke about them, no matter how many times I had tried to ask her about them. For all I knew they could be dead.

Not my father's vast family, they were already waiting for an excuse to take me away from my mum, at least that's what she says, and to me at ten years of age, my mother's word was gospel.

And definitely not my father, a Turkish man I had seen only three times in my life that I remembered. He had been in prison since I was five, he would be as useful as the ceramic cat my mum had bought to scare the mice we had running through the flat.
The mice had realised they were safe the same night she had put it out in our tiny kitchen.

I made my way out and through the dank, stinking corridors of our block of flats, eloquently named Tokyo House.
Passing puddles of piss and dirty needles in the stair well. I hated the elevator, feeling claustrophobic in its steel shell.

I ran to escape the smell, grinning at the naughty graffiti that ran with me down the flights of stone stairs.
I reached the ground floor in no time, despite living on the fourteenth floor. One minute and thirty five seconds. I checked my cheap plastic digital watch as soon as I hit the last step. I had nearly beat my personal best of one minute and three seconds.

I breathed in the cool fresh air of London's autumn gratefully, jogging leisurely as I made my way to the corner shops.
The shops were a row of dingy convenience stores, comprising of a launderette, a Chinese takeaway, an off licence, a Post Office which was closed, a kebab shop and a male barbers.
I entered the off licence wondering if I should buy some popping candy and crisps or a cheap bottle of cola.
I walked to the counter and decided to buy the cigarettes first so I knew exactly how much I had to spend.

"Mr Pete, can I have a pack of Twenty Silver Kings?" I asked loudly, knowing the kind elderly Pakistani man was hard of hearing.
"Silver what?" He shouted at me, using his hand to cup his right ear.
I pointed to the display of cigarettes behind him, guiding his hand to the correct packet.
"Left, up one, to the right".
"Ahh...Silver Kings" he chuckled to no one in particular.
He rang up the till and shouted out the price.
"Four pounds thirty five".
He stretched out his gnarled hands, reaching for the five pound note I had taken from my jean pocket.

"Here's your change son". Mr Pete said sadly, handing over the coins that made up my change, with a cola lollipop he knew was my favourite.
"Next time, you tell mummy she needs to come in and buy cigarettes, you is only a little boy". He whispered, leaning over the counter, down to me.
"Ok Mr Pete". I told him solemnly.

I moved away from the counter and wandered the store, pushing the cigarettes into my pocket, debating with myself about what I should buy.
Boxes of chocolates and multipacks of crisps lined the shelfs.
I promised myself one day I would buy as many packets of crisps and boxes of chocolates I could eat as I was going to be rich. Richer than the Queen. I laughed, imagining
such a thing.

"Why don't you buy these?". A little girl asked me, pointing to a bag of mixed sweets that cost ten pence, she had been watching me wander the store since I had come in but I had pointedly ignored her.

Looking at her properly, I was mesmerized by her green eyes, which seemed to sparkle with kindness.
Lost for words I continued looking at her, wondering if she were a mermaid or something with her honey blonde hair and fair skin.
"You'll like them". She spoke again, causing me to take a bag, even though I knew I didn't like them.

"What's your name?" She asked me, watching me intently, I hadn't made a sound, my throat felt dry and uncomfortable.
"Ali" I answered, after what, to my childish self, seemed like ages.
"I'm Clara, but my brother and sister call me Baby". She grimaced to show she wasn't happy with her nickname. I smiled, understanding, no one likes being called a baby.

Her little hand was held out in front of her pink dress, waiting for me to shake it in greeting.
I did, and as I did so, forgot all about the sweets and chocolates in the store because I had just found, exactly what I hadn't known I'd wanted. A new friend. Someone to love.

Hi all! Recently read somewhere if you can't find the book you're looking for, write it yourself. So comment and let me know what you think of this one as it progresses...