once upon a time, i salsA-ed 💃🏻💃🏻 out of bed and walked into the kitchen because i wanted a snacc.
little did i know that my angry girlfriend, lisa (from blackpink) was waiting for me with a pink fly swatter gripped in her hands.
"yah jeon jungkook!" lisa (from blackpink) yelled as i entered the kitchen. i barely had time to react before the pink fly swatter came in contact with my head. the impact was so great that my wig flew and landed lifelessly onto the cold kitchen tiles.
"i loved you so much oppa! wae?!😡" lisa (from blackpink) screamed with tears streaming down her face.
"fym wae?? the fuck did i do?!"i nearly yelled.
"you fucking cheated on me, you bastard!" my girlfriend cried out, "i hate you!" she tried to hit me with her fly swatter, but i moved out of the way just in time.
"fym bitch??"
i just wanted a fucking snacc. i didn't salsa out of bed for this s h i t.
"you cheated on me with jennie!"
"who the fuck is jennie??"
"my fucking best chingu you pabo! i hate you! 😡"
i shut my eyes and locked my arms over my head in fear that lisa was going to hit me again. but i felt no pain. hesitantly, i opened my eyes and removed my arms from my head, only to see lisa (from blackpink) bawling her eyes out on the floor. the pink fly swatter was stuck in the toaster, and had caught on fire.
i didn't even get my fucking s n a c c.
the fire was starting to spread and i was feeling really hot so i grabbed lisa's weave and dragged her outside before calling the fire department and the police.
lisa and i waited inside an ambulance without uttering a word to each other, until i spoke up.
"jagi...i didn't cheat on you," i spoke softly.
"w-what?"lisa (from blackpink) stuttered in response.
"i didn't cheat on you with jennie,"i spoke again.
"jinjja?? are you jinjja serious jungkookie oppa?? 😢" my girlfriend asked. she was looking at me with wide eyes, and i could tell she was hopeful. i had to be honest.
"LMAO i didn't cheat on you but you beat me up with a fly swatter and i don't sarang you anymore."
"YOU FUCKING PABO-"
"don't annyeonghasyeo me on your cellphone lol you're not my yeoja-chingu anymore."
that's what she gets for not letting me eat my snacc >:(
"YAH!" my now ex-girlfriend screamed, stomping both her feet, "HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME YOU FUCKING PABO ASS I NEVER SHOULDN'T TRUSTED YOU."
"lol welp not my problem."
lisa began bawling her eyes out again and the female paramedics tried to comfort her. but she pushed them away and ran down the sidewalk, never to be seen again.
i salsA-eD 💃🏻💃🏻 out of the ambulance and nyoooooomed ✈️ to the convenience store to buy a snacc and some fucking banana milk.
i met this really cute (and rich) girl named rachel and we exchanged numbers on the same day.
a couple months later rachel became my yeoja-chingu 😍 and my chingu 😁taehyung started dating rachel's chingu chloe. rachel introduced me to two of her other chingus, frida and kyla 😎.they're litty or whateva even tho frida is old as fuck and kyla is gay 🏳️🌈. i'll never ever go back to lisa and rich goddess rachel will always be my yeoja-chingu yeongwonhi saranghae 😍😘💍💋💋
