Miseducation

Dangerous

"I can't believe you still live on campus," Dani mocked, "What are you, eighteen?"

I spun in my swivel chair to give her a dirty look before returning my attention to the makeup mirror I'd set haphazardly on top of my closed laptop. "I'm on a budget," I declared, "You should try it sometime."

"No thanks, I'll stick to selling nudes on the internet."

"I'd say go for it, but everybody in Vancouver has already seen your tits." I swiped concealer under my eyes, blending it out and relishing in the temporary reprieve from looking at my dark circles magnified in the mirror.

"And it was the highlight of their mediocre little lives. Every. Single. One of them." She made her way over to sit on the double bed behind me, "You look sexy, Els. I thought you weren't trying to sleep with her."

"I'm not," I defended, "But did you see what her husband was wearing to a Varsity football game? They're obviously loaded. Rich people are crazy."

"Fuck the bourgeoisie; the proletarians will rise," She raised her fist, and I shook my head, smiling.

"We've got nothing to lose but our chains, hey, Karl Marx? Workingmen unite!"

"For real, though, I doubt she's rich. She's TA'ing for at least two classes," She pointed out, "But it would be kinda hot if she was."

"You think everything about her is hot," I scoffed.

"Exactly! Tell me why you're the one having dinner with her tonight when I've done nothing but pine after her for weeks."

"I'm sure Andrew would love to spend an evening with the lesbian who's actively trying to fuck his wife. Plus, the amount of married women you've actually hooked up with is enough for any man with half a brain to be locking up their wives around you."

"I'm not a lesbian," She grimaced, "I'm experimenting."

"Can you really call it experimenting after six years, Dani? I'd say the experiment was a success, and you're fucking gay."

"You're entitled to that opinion. What about you, though? Don't you hate it?"

I raised an eyebrow and she continued, inspecting her manicure, "Being different, I mean. Sometimes it feels like it's just us, and then all of them, you know? They don't have anything to prove, or anything to hide. It just seems so easy for them."

"Would you really want to be like them, though? Could you imagine yourself marrying a man someday? Settling down and having kids?"

"No," She admitted, "But I wish I could."

"Hey," I reached a hand behind me to hold hers, "There's nothing wrong with you. You know that, right?"

"Yeah," She sighed, "I guess. It just sucks."

"Sucks being the hottest girl in this school?" I chuckled, "I bet it does."

"Sucks knowing that's all I am. I mean, let's face it, I'm not smart like you. I don't even know why I'm here, and half of the time I feel like I've only stuck around this long because I have no idea what I'm going to do in the real world." I'd never heard anything so vulnerable coming from Dani, and her words left me feeling hopelessly empty inside. "I peaked in high school, and now it's like I'm stuck here living it out on a loop, watching everyone else grow up, and I don't even know who I am. I'm twenty-five years old, for fuck sake."

"Dani, you are smart. Do you really think that just because I'm decent at psychology, I'm somehow smarter than you? I don't know anything about Post-Impressionism, or De Stijl, or Renaissance architecture, or any of the things you're studying. I've heard you talk about all of that, and it blows my mind. I compare myself to Adelaide every day, and every time I do it, I feel like shit. I'm not her, and you're not me, and that's a good thing. That's the best thing about you. You're you, and if you think no one's going to love you or respect you for the person you are, you're crazy."