Harry Potter and the BTS Band

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, J.K Rowling owns Harry Potter, I am just toying around with the characters. I also do not own the song 'Fake Love', the original singers, BTS own the actual own song and all I have down is taken the song and translated it to English.

Harry Potter was having a regular day at number four, Privet Drive with his Aunt and fat pig of an uncle. Harry's walrus relative was somewhere in the house trying to scam some kids with the game 'Fortnite', whatever that dodgy sounding game was. His aunt was somewhere downstairs in the living room listening to some damn music that she found on Youtube. Harry Potter looked around his bedroom trying to distract himself from his aunt when he heard Aunt Petunia listening to some Korean type of music. Curiosity peaked, Harry Potter stuck his ear against his dull bedroom wall and began listening to what his Aunt was saying.

"Yes! FAKE LOVE! MY FAVORITE!" Petunia shrieked as if she had won a million dollars,

Dudley moaned disgusted, "Jesus mum! Get a bloody room, why do you even love those creepy Koreans, they look and sound like Ali-A's intro! WHICH IS TERRIBLE!"

"JUST SHUT UP! Or I'll take away your Xstation4One or whatever console you have you ungrateful child." Petunia screeched back like a baboon high on meth.

Harry, having heard the whole conversation, rolled onto his bed laughing. Harry decided to go back to listening to his aunt as he wanted to know what the hell she was listening to. Deciding to go outside his room so he could hear better, he suddenly heard some terrible singing sounding like boys doing some, uh, sexual acts in front of a microphone. Harry almost choked on air after hearing it initially but managed to somehow survive.

Petunia began singing along with the song, "For you, I could pretend like I was happy when I was sad

For you, I could pretend like I was strong when I was hurt

I wish love was perfect as love itself
I wish all my weaknesses could be hidden
I grew a flower that can't be bloomed in a dream that can't come true

I'm so sick of this fake love, fake love, fake love
I'm so sorry but it's fake love, fake love, fake love

I wanna be a good man, just for you
I gave the world, just for you
I changed everything, just for you
But I dunno me, Who are you?
The forest just for us, you weren't there
The route I took, I forgot
I even became quite unsure of who I was
Try babbling into the mirror, who the heck are you?

For you, I could pretend like I was happy when I was sad
For you, I could pretend like I was strong when I was hurt
I wish love was perfect as love itself
I wish all my weaknesses could be hidden
I grew a flower that can't be bloomed in a dream that can't come true

Love you so bad, love you so bad
Mold a pretty lie for you
Love it's so mad, love it's so mad
Try to erase myself and make me your doll
Love you so bad, love you so bad
Mold a pretty lie for you
Love it's so mad, love it's so mad
Try to erase myself and make me your doll

I'm so sick of this fake love, fake love, fake love
I'm so sorry but it's fake love, fake love, fake love

Why you sad? I don't know. I don't know
Smile, say 'I love you'
Look at me, even I gave up on myself
Even you can't understand me
You say I'm unfamiliar, changed into the one you used to like

No? What do you mean no? I'm blind
Love? What the heck is love? It's all fake love

Woo, I dunno, I dunno, I dunno why
Woo, even I, even I don't know myself
Woo, I just know, I just know, I just know why
Cuz it's all fake love, fake love, fake love

Love you so bad, love you so bad
Mold a pretty lie for you
Love it's so mad, love it's so mad
Try to erase myself and make me your doll
Love you so bad, love you so bad
Mold a pretty lie for you
Love it's so mad, love it's so mad
Try to erase myself and make me your doll

I'm so sick of this fake love, fake love, fake love
I'm so sorry but it's fake love, fake love, fake love

For you, I could pretend like I was happy when I was sad
For you, I could pretend like I was strong when I was hurt
I wish love was perfect as love itself
I wish all my weaknesses could be hidden
I grew a flower that can't be bloomed in a dream that can't come true"

Harry was so shocked about the quality of the song- which was terrible, he'd rather Avada Kedavra himself or just let Hedwig poke his eyes out and then feed it to Voldemort and then let Hedwig pull him into the toilet and flush the toilet about a million times.

Anyways, Harry Potter was on the ground pale and sweaty, hunched over the toilet. The bad thing was that the toilet was right near the stairs to his aunt and the, oh dare he say it, really horrible song. Harry finally conceded defeat and emptied his stomach and attempted to finally get up and ask Hedwig to end him, Harry repeatedly muttered "I defeated Voldemort when I was a baby, I also saw many visions of Voldemort killing innocent people, this song was nothing." Harry clumsily got up but bashed his head on the shower door, and let darkness consume him, but not before he heard his aunt scream like a fangirl

"YES! THAT SONG WAS AWESOME, OMG I LOVE Jungkook the most! He's so hot! Meanwhile Vernon is a fat ugly donkey. I really need to divorce this walrus and hook myself up with Jungkook!"

Waking back up after knocking himself unconscious, Harry Potter blinked wearily and glanced around trying to remember what happened, the event suddenly flooded back into Harry's tiny little brain and he moaned and mumbled "Where's Hedwig?" Harry decided to pull his wand out to obliviate himself, but remembered the damn trace that the Ministry had put on every wizard and witch.

Walking back to his room to find Hedwig, he saw Hermione's cat outside his window on the perch. Walking up to the window to open it so he could let the Crookshanks in, Hermione's cat jumped right into Harry and scratched him right in the face. Harry shouted in pain and shook the cat off and looked at his mirror. 

"Damn, another scar, now I'll be know as an actual scar face like Draco Fartfoy said to me, or I'll either be know as 'The-Boy-Who-Lived-Two-Times'" 

Glancing back at the cat with annoyance and hatred, Harry noticed there was a note attached to the cat's leg and pulled it off and shoved Crookshank out the window. Hearing a resounding crack, Harry was extremely satisfied. So what if it was cruel, it bloody scratched me and apparently, 'cats have nine lives'.  Unfolding the piece of parchment, Harry glanced at the letter which said

Dear Harry,

I don't know if you've heard, but recently there was this Korean Boy Band that rose to fame. Simply put it, I'm in love with the band. If you don't know what I'm talking about, search up BTS. All the boys are hot! Maybe you could come over to my house to listen to some of their songs and maybe we could visit them one day!

Your Friend, 

Hermione Granger

P.S I love them so much

P.S.S I love their abbs, it's a massive 6 pack! Way better than Ron! Ops, maybe I wasn't supposed to say that!

P.S.S.S Please come over Harry!

Harry glanced over to Hedwig and said 

"You know what to do girl."

Hedwig hooted in response as if saying 'Get on the bed and use a silencing spell and then I'll poke your eyes out, feed them to Voldemort then try flush you down the toilet repetitively until you actually get flushed'

________________________________________________________________________________

The End

I don't know if Crookshank can actually send/receive messages, so sorry about that. This story is cringy as. Please god save the Queen. If you actually liked this...... Okay then................. Please someone Avada Kedavra me. The part when Petunia sang along was horrible, the actual song is Fake Love, just translated to English via Google Translate.