Acotar and Tog [Discontinued, Will be deleted]

Can We Just Start Over

Drunk.

I was so drunk.

I hadn’t been that wasted that quickly in... some time. Not even after Feyre’s first visit to the Night Court. And with a looming trip to the Mortal Realms in the morning, there were considerable consequences to my decision.

Though I didn’t regret the night. It was infinitely better than the one I would have had alone in my townhouse bedroom fighting sleep and dreams and terror. My bones still shook with anxiety born of the visions Ianthe’s memory had brought to mind.

Mor made quick work of Cassian and Azriel and within half an hour of me finding her on the sofa, we were passing through the market squares and heading into one of our usual taverns. The liquor flowed steady and abundant with the close of the door behind us.

And for a time, it made me forget.

But not so fast that I couldn’t try to persuade Mor to go with us in the morning. To which she continually objected, Cassian aiding her along while Az kept silent watch on her other side.

It wasn’t that I didn’t understand her objection. I understood to a degree. We’d fought that war together. I would not have wanted to go had I been in her shoes, but I was selfish. Having Mor near when dealing with Feyre was an easy crutch to lean on that helped abate some of the tension I felt ahead of our time spent together.

I relented in the end, much to my chagrin. Cassian and Mor knew it, but they helped me plan the following day out before we would be too drunk to do it. And then Azriel casually suggested Ritas, knowing Mor wanted to go, and it was all downhill from there.

She didn’t even give him a chance to sit down first before she’d swept him into a fast paced beat upon entering the crowded dance hall. Cassian sat with me at the bar watching the pair of them spin. Music thrummed thoughtfully in and out our ears as the bar keep slid us two drinks.

“What?” I looked over at Cassian and found him watching me, face drawn up in amused curiosity. He waited while I looked at Mor and Az on the floor a second longer. “She’s not coming. So you might as well drop it.”

I squinted, shaking him off. “I know. I wish she would reconsider, but I won’t force her.”

“Then - what is it?”

I drew a long breath. He and I hadn’t spoken since, since...

“You really think she might sleep with me one day?” Cassian’s brow rose slightly. A knot tied somewhere south of my abdomen. “Not now obviously, but…”

“Who - Feyre?”

I swallowed. Cassian howled.

“How many times have you thought about her naked?” Cassian asked after he’d calmed down.

Again, I didn’t answer.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought,” he chuckled. “Well for your sake, you better hope she does sleep with you eventually. Otherwise, you’re in for one hell of an eternity.”

I groaned and cocked my head back. And felt Cass’s broad, calloused hand grip my shoulder. He wore none of his leathers tonight. Neither did Az. Just a simple dark green tunic and casual trousers.

“Will you relax?” He grinned at me ear to ear. “It’s not so bad to be eternally fucked, you know.”

I gave him a reproachful eye. “You’re one to talk, brother.” He didn’t deny it. I held out my glass. “Here’s to being eternally fucked,” I offered.

Cass snorted and clinked his glass with mine. “Cheers.”

I didn’t tell Feyre until morning that lack of word from Tarquin meant we would venture into the Mortal Realms to meet her family. And by telling her, I meant I sent Mor who woke up and landed on our doorstep bright and early anyway looking to chat.