The Girl I Once Knew

Part Three

Final Part.

-

Camila sighed, wishing she knew where Lauren had ran to. Shawn had called him two nights before, panicking. He said that Lauren disappeared and Little Shawn was distraught. Camila was angry. She hated Lauren. What kind of mother leaves their child behind? She was sure if she ever saw Lauren again, she would slap her.

But when Camila did see Lauren again she didn't slap her. She just sat with her. The older girl was sitting in an alley. Tear tracks down her face. She looked so small, Camila felt for her.

"I hate myself," Lauren whispered, looking at Camila. Her green eyes held so much pain, so much self-hatred, Camila couldn't be angry. The older girl looked tired, like she hadn't slept in the two days she disappeared. "I hate who I am."

Camila didn't respond. She just listened, knowing Lauren had to get it all out.

"He has an amazing life. He's happy. And I'm just a whore with a son. Who had a son. I don't belong in his world."

"You deserve to be happy," Camila whispered, staring at the girl.

Lauren shook her head. "No. I was pregnant before Shawn. I killed it."

Camila sighed.

"I killed my first baby, so this is karma. This is my punishment. I don't deserve happiness."

"You do. What happened to you, whatever it is, it wasn't your fault."

"He didn't tell you?"

Camila shook her head. "All I know is that you two met in foster care. You were adopted first."

"I'm a whore. I fuck guys for money."

"When was the first time, you, you know," Camila asked, wanting to get to know the other girl.

"I was thirteen when I was adopted. My adoptive mother disappeared when I was fourteen. And I had sex with my adoptive father that same year. He sold me before I turned fifteen. I've been on the street since then."

"You didn't choose to have sex Lauren."

Lauren shook her head. "I think I did. I was always dirty. Shawn, my son needs someone pure. He needs something like you.

"Your son needs you. Your son needs his mother."

Lauren turned to Camila, her eyes bright with tears. "I didn't mean to leave him behind."

Camila nodded her head. "I know. What do you say we head back? Tell both Shawns you're sorry."

Lauren nodded her head. With trembling hands, she pushed herself up. Camila rushed to help her, feeling the older girl tremble next to her. Camila quickly took her sweater off and covered the other girl's shoulders with it.

"Thank you," Lauren whispered, rubbing her eyes.

Camila gave her a small smile, as she helped Lauren back to the tour buses. Camila was glad no one saw them.

-

Shawn held Little Shawn while the boy watched Spiderman: Homecoming, his thumb in his mouth. Little Shawn had become attached to Shawn. Nights were the worst. The little boy would ask for his mother, but when she didn't appear he'd cry. Shawn had to sing to him until the boy fell asleep. He knew that one day he would have to call child services. He had been trying to push it, but he knew it was going to be right.

Shawn heard his tour bus door open. He didn't look, thinking it was someone of the crew.

Little Shawn turned. His eyes widened. "Mama?"