Love Confession

Open Letter

Dear Baby Girl, 

Five hundred words seem like a lot, but five hundred different words won't even describe how you make me feel. Our friend dates make me even more crazy about you, watching you across the table, looking at your phone, smiling. You joke about us dating, and my heart stops, thinking that maybe you figured it out. My heart stops, hoping that you aren't really joking. You are one of my best friends and it hurts knowing that I am not the one that calls you mine. I know they make you happy, and in return, I am happy to. But knowing that they don't see you like I do, they don't want you like I want you. I don't care if you only want to hug and hold hands because I would like to hold your hand every day, because that means I get to call you mine. 

I have watched you cry because you don't feel like you are valid and that your problems don't matter, but, Baby Girl they matter to me. Baby Girl when I made you cry because of that stupid song, I felt my heart drop, because maybe your mother is right, maybe I am not good for you. But when you squeezed my hand back and told me you loved me, even if it was as a friend, I knew you would never leave me. 

Baby Girl I want to be the one that gets to hold you when you are down, to help lift you up. I want to be the one you go to when you are sad and depressed, I want to be the one to tell you every single day that you matter, even if you only matter to me. I want to help you with this problem you are going through because I love you. God knows I love you so much. 

It breaks my heart, knowing that you have them, that they are the ones putting that smile on your face, and it's not me. It breaks my heart that they are the one that gets to hold your hand. But they don't see you as I see you. 

They don't see the strong girl sitting in front of me, giving me her bacon because she doesn't eat meat. They don't get to see the beautiful girl laying in bed next to me that is way too obsessed over a Japanese boy band or an anime. They don't get to see the way your eyes light up when you talk about something you are passionate about. But I do, I see you. 

But the problem is that you don't see me, the way I want you to see me. 

Love,

The girl who fell in love with her best friend.