Today is September 5 .. the first day I felt alone after finding out my ex has moved on. I didn't sleep at all last night. My friend stayed up till 2 a.m. watching TV. I don't remember what all I know is I couldn't sleep I lay across my bed looking away. Hoping you wouldn't see the study tears that wrote on my face. This is my best friend my ex's brother. I can't tell him what she meant to me. I have tried he doesn't understand he's had many girlfriends. He seen the pain that our relationship had. I just wish one day I could understand how he is able to be okay with letting so many people out of his life. Maybe the problem is I found the person I want. Stupid things dumb decisions left to relationship shattered. I know it's technically been 3 months but we are bouncing back and forth. Until I found out she got a new boyfriend. I stayed home today. I sent in my bed waiting for her to text me pathetic alone and very depressed. And when she did text me I was crying my eyes out. She tells me she doesn't want me to leave and go to Texas. But she replaces me and is always hitting me. I don't know what to do all I know is this pain gets worse and here I am at 12 p.m. wishing she was here and wishing I wasn't alone. How many times can you tell somebody they're your everything. All I know is I think this time she won't ever be coming back. And that's what hurts me most of all I wonder if it's because I'm not good enough or if because I act like a fool. She means so much to me but now I have to go I have to try to find a way out of this pain I hate to say it but I still love her.
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