Littered Heart

A new start

The inexplicable hurt I was feeling right now was unbearable.Yet another expected betrayal broke my already broken heart into tiny crumbs.

I ask myself the same question I have been asking for a hundred billion times,why does this happen to me?

Broken as I was,I couldn't let others see me like this.I had to wipe my tears,keep my chin high and put on a fake smile.

The day went on the same way it does everyday.The looks of distaste I got was bearable,having been used to it.

I first decided to go to the wash-chamber.Turning the faucet on,I looked at my reflection in the mirror.

Ebon eyes stared back at me,blinking back tears.I washed my face,stared at the stranger in front of me,the stranger I couldn't learn to love.

A stranger,I knew very too well,but at the same time,I didn't too.

I try to forget about my miserable life and head out the chamber,ready to face my fears.

The class was interesting.I really love math.It feels good to solve numerical problems,knowing very well I couldn't solve the problems haunting my life,with the same grace and confidence.

Sighing,I pack my book and head to the cafeteria.I usually come to the cafeteria,just to relax.It had a calming interior that I have grown to love.

Sipping my coffee,I watch people conversing,socializing.They looked very happy,but I wouldn't dare judge them based on their smiling face.

Because I knew too well that there are sime broken souls,pretending,just like me.

Just as I was about to take my last sip,I saw Jalon.My heart began to leap out,beating furiously.I felt pure anger bubble inside of me.

We had broken-up yesterday,after finding out that he was apparently dating me as a part of a prank,he and his friends decided to pull on me.

I heard his friends talking about it,and I was really hurt.But I decided to put an end to his game,without giving him the satisfaction of fulfilling his so called "prank".

I tried to shake my thoughts away.I needed to forget him.He wasn't worth thinking about.

Paying my bill,I decide it's time to get back to my calculus class.

The class was boring,as always,because calculus is something that I've tried to be good at but I just get bored by it.

The classes finished early.I put on my earphones and started walking back home.

The weather was too perfect.The gentle breeze,the smell of fresh flowers blossoming.It was heavenly.I wish it would always be this peaceful.

I see something from the corner of my eye,only to see that it was a cat.An adorable one at that,but honestly,I've never seen an ugly cat.

I try to pet it.But it clearly didn't like to be petted.It hissed at me and scrambled away.

Am I really that bad?

I shake my thoughts away and keep on walking.After a few minutes of walk,I finally reach home.I unlock the door to see that mom wasn't home yet.

I head upstairs to my room and take a shower.Shower really helps in de-stressing the muscles and it feels really relaxing when the warm water hits your body.

I stare at the wall,blankly.

"Honestly,what am I doing with my life?"I say to myself.

It's like I'm just constantly feeling hurt.When will I feel happy or how will I find happiness?

I shouldn't let people walk all over me.I shouldn't give Jalon the satisfaction of seeing me breaking.

I shouldn't let my father's words become true.

My eyes well with tears but I blink them away.I get out of the shower,wear a comfortable clothing and head downstairs to greet my mom.

"Hey mom,"

She looks at me and smiles,giving me a quick 'hey'.She seemed to be thinking of something.

I stand there awkwardly,waiting for her to say something,but she doesn't.I go upstairs to my room again.

I was watching youtube videos on my laptop,when I heard my room door open.It was my mom.

"I wanted to talk to you about something,"she said,looking down at the floor.

I blink my eyes in surprise.We didn't talk a lot lately,so it must be something important.I nod my head,signalling her to continue.

She clears her throat,"So,I've noticed that lately,you are very distracted.You always have this sad look on your face and I want to do something about it.I'm thinking of moving to my parents' house."

I was shocked,seeing that she was willing to move houses for me.

"I wanted to ask if that'll be alright with you.You have always liked to stay there.So,I wanted to ask you about it but you can say no if you want.We can move-"

"Mom,I'd love to stay there.You know I always did."

Her eyes tear up and she hugs me.I hug her back.

"I'm sorry I wasn't paying attention to see that you were hurting.I really am.I want to see you happy again,"

I smile at her happily.I knew she was sad,seeing that she couldn't do anything to keep me happy.But she was trying so hard and I knew that.

"I love you mom,"I say,truly meaning it.

"Love you too,sweety."she says,and jumps up happily,saying"I have also prepared pancakes for you.We can watch a movie too,if you want,"

I run downstairs,nearly twisting my ankle in tue process,"oh my god,pancakes!!!I love pancakes!!"I shout,happily.

We ended up eating too much pancakes and laying down on the floor..We also watched a movie,as we had planned.We were just laughing and talking about things.

I was happy.It felt really good to talk to my mom.Maybe,staying at my grandparents' house would be a good thing for me.

I can start a new,better life.I will have to go to a new school,make new friends.

Maybe,life would finally be good.

Thank you for reading,whoever you are.It really means a lot to me.If you feel like this story is worthy of hitting the star button,please vote.
But if you don't,that's okay.
I love you anyways,stranger xoxo

-Nish