Systems

"We all have systems within ourselves. Sometimes we fight against them, but sometimes we accept them. You're stuck in the middle."

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There are most days when I would be able to forget everything around me.

Days where my thoughts were louder than my words and my actions. Days where my eyes would look blank and stare right through people. Days that I wouldn't be able to understand nor remember, because by the day after it would all be different, with new things to encounter and new questions to think about.

And sometimes, I would be all there is in the pitiful hole in the ground.

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"I'm tired of myself."

"What do you mean?"

"It's like, I know I'm dead, but I keep fighting."

"You're not dead."

"Look me in the eyes and tell me I'm not."

". . ."

"I am."