ayato kirishima x reader one-shot

I had to let you go...

Whenever I stared at his back, I always thought that he was beginning to stray away from me. He looked so far away... I can't even keep up with him anymore.

"Ayato! Good morning! " I said as I entered the building. He was currently sitting alone thinking about something. He glanced at me but quickly averted his eyes away, giving me a simple nod as a reply. He was really quiet these days. I didn't know what was wrong. I smiled in return and walked straight to my room.

A week ago, I found out that Hinami got captured by the ccg. Ayato came back furious and punched the wall of our building. I hurriedly went to him.

As his lover, I felt really bad for not being able to do anything. He told me to stay behind because he said that I might get hurt but a thought crossed my mind. 'He's saying this because I'll just be a burden...

I'm just holding him back'

I threw myself on the bed and reminisced at the memories I had with Ayato.

I looked down as I heard the other members of the aogiri tree throw lots of insults at me.
What a weakling

You're such a pain.

Why is she assigned to hunt with us?

She'll only get in the way.

I hear footsteps come towards me and stop right in front of me. Everything turns silent. I knew who this person was. It was no other than Ayato. I looked up to see him glare at everyone around him. He then takes my hand and leads me away from the people. "Don't listen to those shitty brats. " From the tone of his voice, I could already figure out that he was mad. I was happy in the inside because he was always there whenever I need him but this thought makes me think that I don't deserve him.

I remember the time when he slept beside me.

I stared at his beautiful face. His hair was slightly messy and his lips were slightly dry. He had a small cut on his cheek. He must've gotten that because of his previous mission. His breathing was slow and steady. He opens his eyes and stares into mine. A slight blush was seen on his cheeks. He turned to his side, his back facing me. "Don't look at me." It was obvious that he was embarrassed. I giggled a bit and wrapped my arms around him. I rested my head on his back and fell asleep.

My eyes turn gloomy. I remembered the times when I was always protected by him. He would always block the attacks that we're to come at me. In instances when he has no choice left, he would use his body as a shield to protect me. I was always weak. I'd never catch up to him.

...

My hands were covered in blood. His blood. I panicked and tore my shirt into thick strips. I used these to cover as much wounds as I can. His bones were broken. He had too many major injuries. I was completely hopeless. The one eyed ghoul must've done this. He looked like he was about to die. In his case, I think that he was half killed. His hair was completely stained in his blood. He wasn't moving at all. I did something that I have never done before. I released my kagune. It looked exactly like a bird's wing. The "feathers" of my wings stabbed him. The feathers injected my blood into him to help in speeding up the healing process. My blood has a certain type of cell in it that could make a ghoul heal 99x faster than the average healing rate. When his wounds were fully healed, I brought him back to the headquarters. I settled him on our bed. He was sleeping soundly. I couldn't help but cry. I almost lost him. If I didn't come earlier, he could've died. I wasn't there to protect him. They were right.

I am useless.

As I was in deep thoughts, I didn't notice that he was awake. I had that face again. "You have that look again. " he said in an annoyed tone. I snapped out of my thoughts and blinked at him. I started crying unto his chest. His arm wrapped around me. "Stop thinking about the shitty things people told you. You're not useless. You're not pathetic. You're not a burden...
Listen to me for once god dammit... " he sounded really angry yet there was a slight tone of sadness in his voice. I knew that he hated seeing me this way.

I sat up from my bed and looked at my hands. I was holding him back from the beginning. I knew it. I was pathetic. I was useless. I was a burden. I should've never existed. I'm sorry Ayato... I can't listen to you. These thoughts were true. All these things were true. I have to... Let you go.

I sat straight up. I knew that I had to tell him. Right now, he was worrying about Hinami. I felt really jealous of her. Amongst the members in the aogiri tree, she was the only one Ayato worried about besides me. I didn't know their relationship. I know nothing about him... I'm envious of her. I want Ayato to worry about me too but... Isn't that gonna gonna make me more of a burden than before?

I head towards the room Ayato was in. What I'm about to do is selfish but I want him to think of me too. Just for one last time...

I also wanted to do this because I wanted to free him from me. He would be better off without me. Hinami was better than me. She was prettier, stronger and she has a better kagune than me. Everyone likes her. Ayato's better with her. He doesn't need me. Once our relationship is over, he's a free man.

My heart rate went faster and faster. I opened the door to see him reading a book. He looked up to see me.

"Ayato... I have... S-something to tell you.. " my voice trailed off. He glared at me. He stood up and went in front of me. "You were thinking about those things again weren't you?! " He knew what was up. He was really angry now.
"No.. I just wanted to say... Something to you... " I closed my eyes and breathed in. Tears were already being stored in my eyes. "We have to... Part ways... " my voice trembled and my tears streamed down.

I didn't open my eyes. I felt wind rush past me. He walked out. I knew that he was hurt. I'm sorry Ayato... I had to let you go because...

I love you...