The World's Greatest Savior

Gemma sealed the last box of clothes and put it in front of her house. She had spent the entire night and morning to pack all her things. Books, clothes, art supplies, cooking wares – basically all the things that she wouldn't want to leave in her house. Those things were meant to be donated to the local charity foundations. She had them packed in boxes and organized them according to which goes to where. It was tiring, but she was glad that at least one last thing settled before she could leave the town.

Gemma wiped droplets of sweat that ran on her temples. Gemma decided to tidy herself up. She went to the bathroom and stripped her clothes. She went into the shower box and let the water ran down through her body. She poured her newly bought Au The Vert shampoo onto her dark hair and enjoyed the soft green tea aroma filling the shower. Gemma chuckled softly. A bottle of this costs $50, she thought as she read the ingredients label on the shampoo label. She should give it to Kate before she left. One last luxury before leaving the town, she thought again.

Gemma dressed in her favorite white floral short dress, sitting in her favorite spot in her favorite cafe, just 8 minutes walk from her house. She ordered her favorite latte and a plate of peanut butter blondie. Munching her cake softly, she looked around the cafe. She paid attention to every detail of it - mock-up log chairs and matching wooden tables, the display of pastries near the counter table,  the exposed ventilation pipes and structural truss - everything. She did the same to the air she breathe. She inhaled deeply, letting the bitter aroma of the coffee, freshly baked pastries, a vanilla scented perfume of the woman who sat at the table across her, filled her lungs, holding her breath for a while before releasing it softly. She filled her senses with all the stimulation possibly provided in the cafe, just like a greedy man eating his last meal before a day of fasting.  It was an act of saying goodbye to her favorite place in the world, silently and intimately. She wouldn't be able to come there again.

Beep, beep, beep

Gemma's phone beeped. It was a reminder she set a month ago. A white text in a red bubble popped up into her black screen.

Sunday 6th August 2017, 5.00 PM. 

Suicide schedule

It was about time, Gemma thought to herself.

____________________________

It first started with a single innocent post from a friend. An Instagram picture of an old friend living her dreams, traveling the world with a face full of bliss after obtaining her master degree in an ivy league college abroad, and she was just there, struggling to make ends meet. Suddenly, she was feeling so scared and worried, of nothing - of everything. She felt like a failure and that feeling tortured her inside out. First, it was intense. Her heart beat so fast that she felt like it would pop out from her chest. She was sweating. She was heaving for another breath. She felt dizzy, shrouded by pure anxiety that locked every joint in her body so she couldn't move - she couldn't think - so she just stayed on her bed, sitting while holding her knees, hoping that the rush of unwanted feeling to pass. It happened once, then twice, thrice - until it happened every single day. Days past, months, years, heck it had been 3 years. An episode of hell, she would call it. 

Hell years those were, until one day Gemma went to an outburst in a cafe - no, not this current cafe, somewhere far away, on her last date - crying in front of her now ex-boyfriend, shouting all the things that were torturing her. Gemma usually kept things under her sleeves, but she lost it that day. What would be suitable to analogize the event? Supernova, that probably it. When a star had reached the end of its life, it would explode in a very massive explosion before it finally ceased. That what happened to Gemma. The anxiety exploded and died, so did Gemma's feelings all along.