Daevas -I- ✔️

Chapter 15.2: Starry Night

Silence sat between him and Auovin but that was the furthest thing from what Ari wanted. After being away from him for so long Ari wanted to close the distance between them that was growing by each step. Ari furrowed his brows and looked at his hand still clasped in Auovin's. He just did not know how. What words could he say to make this situation more bearable?

"Auovin... I know I... I..." Ari stumbled on his words when more words failed to come to him. Would bringing up that time when he said those mean words to him be in his favor? Ari wanted to think Auovin had forgotten or at least already realized he never meant them. He never could. Auovin meant so much to him. Auovin knew that.

"I know what I said to you was wrong. I did not mean those words. They were said out of anger," Ari blurted, doing away with his reluctance. "Forgive me, I did wrong." Auovin loosened his hold on his hand in response.

Ari was at a loss. He did not know what else to say to make any of this better. Nothing could, Ari was coming to realize. It was not just that moment but many moments where he possibly could have hurt him. Ari's eyes swelled with tears at the thought. Had he ruined everything between them by coming to this place? All Ari wanted was to hold him in his arms and breath in his scent that was unique to him, not those fragmented memories that was ripping him to pieces. Ari bit down on his lip, trying his best not to cry, but he was on the verge of tears. There were so many thoughts swimming through his mind: thoughts that were his, thoughts that were not his, and thoughts that could be his. Ari came to find out who he was, but he was more confused than ever now. He did not know what to do anymore. Ari snatched his hand back to cover his face dripping with hot tears.

There was a pair of eyes boring into him. Ari could feel it— he could always feel Auovin's gazes upon him. Still, Auovin said nothing. He was not one to give comfort, but Ari was in need of it badly. 

"I do not know who I am anymore," Ari sobbed, "or what I am supposed to say or what I am supposed to do now..." He tried to clear away his eyes to look at Auovin, but his sight was still blurred from the dimness of the labyrinth and unshed tears.  "Now that I realize I am the one who had hurt you."

Auovin caressed his face with one hand and wiped away his tears with the other.

"It must have made you angry and upset as you boiled with all those terrible emotions when you looked at me and saw me with such love in my eyes for you. When I said I would not hurt you. When I said that you would be okay because I would make it so. It was cruel of me." Ari let out a sardonic laugh. "Because I had forgotten and you had not."

Ari stepped away from him and swiped at his eyes until his sight returned. He was not expecting to see the kind of expression Auovin had for him. It was not one of resentment or mockery as he was prepared for. It was not even one of pity. Auovin covered the distance between them and pressed his forehead against Ari's. Ari looked anywhere but at him. However, his yellow eyes called for attention. When Auovin cupped his cheek, Ari met his eyes with some apprehension. There was no use in bothering to avoid it now. He had to ask.

"Since when... did you know who I was?" Ari asked. "Did you know since the beginning?"

Auovin shook his head no.

"When you kissed me?"

Auovin shook his head no again.

"When?" Ari breathed.

"Does it matter?"

Ari swallowed the lump in his throat and clenched his hands into fists. "Yes, it does. You know it does."

"When you went down to see Ylanan, "Auovin murmured.

"You made me believe that Harun was my father and even Ylanan—" Ari backed away from him and shook his head. It was pounding and throbbing with pain. "You resented me back then, did you not? When you found out?"