Namjoon walked through the empty park with nothing but the clothes on his body and his phone tucked away in his back pocket. The sudden gusts of ice cold wind forced him to stuff his hands in the small pockets of his thin jacket. He regrets not wearing something heavier and warmer, but does he care at the moment? No. All he cared about was her.
The forecast has been stuck at cloudy and endless rain for days now. The rain held off just enough time for Namjoon to take a quick walk around the park, to clear his mind, look at nature, and relive memories. Each corner held a memory dear to his heart. Every step he took reminded him of the words she had said to him.
One step. "Joonie look here!" Two steps. "Have you seen the new Seventeen music video yet?" Three steps. "Why would Jimin eat my cereal? I specifically told him not to." Four steps. "Namjoon...I like you..." Five steps. "I think I love you too." Six steps. "We should break up."
Like daggers to his heart, his steps brought back the painful words spoken to him. Namjoon wished her could forget them all, forget her, but he can't. As the days past he is left alone to sulk and ask himself, what did I do wrong?
Namjoon couldn't help but let a chuckle slip past his plump lips. It all seemed ironic to him. The 'had a new girl every week' guy refused to let anyone else near him. Namjoon left crushed, broken hearts every step he took, but the tables have turned. Every step he took was pieces of his own heart, crumbled. Although, she had most of his heart. The piece she had was on the floor, broken and unfixable.
Kicking pebbles as he walked, Namjoon looked around. In the corner of his eye he saw the beautiful cherry blossom tree. How is it still alive and striving in this weather? Sudden memories rushed to him. Now, he just stood there, pebbles under his shoes, staring at the bench located under the only sign of happiness around.
"Namjoon!" she laughed. "Give me my phone back."
"Sorry, no can do. Your phone background is wrong."
"How is it wrong? Can I not have my cat as my lock screen?"
"Nope," Namjoon went to the camera app. "It has to be us. Now... smile!"
Namjoon pressed his cheek against hers, smushing the love-sick couple faces together. She let out a melodic laugh and smiled. The click of the camera pulled the two away from one another to look at the photo. Namjoon set it as her lock screen and gave the phone back, proud of his work. She pressed the power button to look at the picture, and he was looking at her. Oh, how her perfect dark skin gleamed under the harsh rays of the sun; her round lips pulled into a tight smile showing off her perfectly straight teeth; the chubby cheeks she acquired after many dinner dates with Namjoon were being pushed against her eyes, causing the brown orbs to be tucked away. She got a lot of hate for her dark complexion, but Namjoon was always there to back her up, although, she handled the situations herself just fine. He was just moral support. The dark complexion she had is one of the many things why he loved her. She stood out from the rest and he liked that.
"I think I love you."
"What?" she whips her head to Namjoon, the grip on her phone became loose.
"You heard me." He starts closing the space between the two. "I think- actually I know I love you."
In the moment they shared their first kiss, their second confession.
That memory was Namjoon's second favorite memory. Nothing could top the day she confessed her feelings for the players. Only a day after he was being called a softy by everyone he knows.
He continued his path along the sidewalk, abandoning the pebbles behind him. Namjoon looked down at his Van cladded feet. She bought them for his birthday. Such a simple gift he could never let go. A single tear rolled down his tan face, falling to the ground. The memories were too vivid and painful for Namjoon, so he continued down the path towards the exit of the park.
-
Walking through the streets of Seoul calmed Namjoon. The lively city was a second home to him, she was his first. The bright lights provided him the light he needed, and the endless people gave him a place to interact, sometimes forgetting about her. But she would wedge her way back into Namjoon's mind somehow.
Tonight, Namjoon just wanted to walk around. Not buy food, talk to people, or look for her; just walk. Whatever happens tonight he wont stop.
Admiring the bright buildings reminded him of her. Where ever Namjoon went it was always connected to her. Everything reminded him of her. And at this moment Namjoon needed to get over her and let her be a distant memory.
Namjoon gathered himself and started walking to his apartment. On the way there he slid the grey iPhone out his back pocket. The lock screen was of her and him. Delete. Such a tiny step but it was hard for him. The process of letting her go was going to be hard but this is what he needs. Namjoon opened his messages and looked for his mother.
Mom...|
I'm ready to come home|
It's time to forget you Rose.
