fox (iron man's daughter)

8

fox's p.o.v

i wake up to a pounding headache and a general sense of nausea. as i remember the events of last night, the shouting, the alcohol, the tears, the nausea gets significantly worse. how could i be so stupid? why the hell did i do that?

i roll over with a groan, my eyes adjusting to the light and i notice that there's a glass of water. next to it is a couple of painkillers with a post-it note, a heart drawn on it.

i roll my eyes and pick up the pen next to it , scrawling a new note. i quickly stand up, taking a moment to steady myself, and then i place the painkillers, water, and note outside my door, shutting it quietly. then i go back to sleep.

tony's p.o.v

i don't sleep, i just lie in bed next to pepper. she's mad at me, but her arms are still wrapped around my chest, her head on my shoulder, and i try my best not to move and disturb her. she wakes up at around 8 and i smile as she opens her eyes to look at me.

"morning pep" i mumble, placing my lips on hers momentarily.

"do you think fox is okay?" she asks, her voice verging on a whisper and i can tell she's worried. pepper might be as nervous as i am about this whole parenting thing, neither of us have done it before and i know she really wants to succeed.

sometimes i wonder how we'd have coped if fox was a baby, in a sense we're lucky that she's thirteen and relatively self sufficient. but, fox has issues, she's had a tough life (from what i know) and if she was a baby it would be so much easier to bond. the baby probably wouldn't survive though.

"i'll go check on her now" i reply "i didn't want to wake you". 

outside of fox's room, i recognise the water and painkillers i left for her and frown. i definitely didn't leave them there. i crouch down, noticing that the post-it note is there too, but with a new message.

i don't deserve them

i audibly sigh, picking the stuff up and entering fox's room. she's asleep again and i watch her for a second, because when she's asleep she could be any other kid, who's mum didn't die and who's dad knew they existed from the moment they were born and i wish she could've had a normal life.

i eventually decide to wake her, make sure she takes the tablets and then make sure she eats.

"fox" i say softly, placing a hand on her shoulder and shaking her gently. her eyes open and settle on me, confusion drenching her features but a small smile drifting across her lips.

she sits up after a moment, pushing her hair out of her face and i sit on the end of her bed.

"take these" i tell her, placing the water and painkillers into her hands. she pauses, staring at me for a moment as if trying to work out what i'd do if she didn't take them. i suppose she decided that it was best to do as i said, swiftly popping them into her mouth and taking a sip of water.

"thanks" she doesn't make eye contact, instead observing the pattern on her duvet. i note that she's changed and she's taken her makeup off, which she must've done when she woke up before.

"listen i um.. i'm really sorry about what i said last night" i gulp and bite my lip.

"it's fine" she rubs her face and sighs "if anything you were right".

"if you were really like your mum, you wouldn't be sorry now" i tell her, placing a hand on hers.

we sit in silence for a moment before confusion washes over her face and she looks up, narrowing her eyes at me "how do you know what my mum was like?".

i exhale heavily, preparing to break the news to fox. i'm apprehensive of the fact that this might make her hate me more than she already does.

"me and lanie.. we um.. we were good friends" i pause and fox raises an eyebrow, taking the information in.

"friends? are you sure because friends don't usually fuck and i came from somewhere."

i stare at her for a second, taken aback. that definitely wasn't the reaction i was expecting. i feel my cheeks flush a little and i shake it off quickly. "we had a thing" my voice is scratchy as it comes out of my mouth and i watch as a smirk pulls at her lips.

"you're telling me" she remarks, fighting the smile.

i shoot her a momentary scolding glance before continuing "it was on and off, she was the only person i couldn't keep up with when we drank".

taking me by surprise, fox chuckles "she used to try to get me to join in, when she was really drunk with her friends.. i can't say i take after either of you with the whole alcohol thing, im a lightweight".

"she used to give you alcohol?!" i feel my eyes widen and she nods. it's funny, what with her bouncy curls, baby blue eyes and tiny frame, she's almost literally innocence personified. you can't know with a glance that her life so far has been a tangle of painful memories and rejection. in a way, it's my fault, i know it is, i didn't know she existed but even if i did.. would i have done anything?

"my childhood was.. a ride?" it starts as a statement but she ends up phrasing it more as a question, squinting one eye. i smile at her crumpled nose but sadness tugs at my heart, knowing that my kid didn't have a good childhood. she laughs it off but i know it bothers her, and it bothers me.

"anyway i uh.. lanie and i were together for a while, on and off. she used to disappear for nights at a time and then turn up at some random party as if nothing happened. then, one day she disappeared and didn't come back.. i suppose she was pregnant"

fox visibly gulps and she closes her eyes for a moment.

"you okay?" concern laces my voice and i bite my bottom lip.

she nods, opening her eyes again "she wasn't all bad, she loved me" fox gulps again and runs a hand through her hair "she used to sing a lot, usually when i was upset, and sometimes she'd braid my hair" i note tears pooling in her eyes which she wipes away quickly. "i always wondered why i didn't look like her, i wanted her blonde hair, her green eyes.. she was beautiful" a smile forms on her face.

"you're not any less beautiful than she was"

she looks up at me in surprise.

"besides, you're so much stronger than she is" i soften my voice "you handle yourself and situations so much better than she ever did".

fox let's out a dry laugh, exhaling heavily and shaking her head gently "tell that to me twelve hours ago".

"the difference is that i know that you won't do it again".