Hell on Earth

Bring A Sweater

You know, I wish someone would've told me it rained in Hell. Like, "Oh hey, if you plan on dying anytime soon, the forecast isn't gonna be too nice. Bring a sweater."

That would've been helpful.

But really, it wasn't at all like I expected. There were no fiery pits or demons or pineapple pizza. None of that devil shit. From first glance, it just looked like my bedroom. I never knew that Satan had the same interior decorating style that I did. Or that he had a probably unhealthy obsession with Panic! At The Disco. But hey, you never know.

It's just interesting that death seemed like a copy and paste of life. I didn't immediately realize that I had died. How would you if you just seemingly woke up in the comfort of your own bed? Obviously, the death part was extremely unsettling- but it was odd of how at ease I felt. How- okay I felt? Wasn't that heaven's job? To make you feel calm- safe- at home? My mind was flooding with so many questions, so many thoughts. Wait- You're probably just as confused as I was. Maybe I should back up.

It was what would've been a Sunday, 9:42 a.m. (yes I remember the exact time), and I felt as typical as I did on any other day. The sun was faintly shining in through my blinds as I noticed the slight pitter patter of a drizzle. I groggily reached over to my bedside drawer to grab my phone and check the time. Typical. I noticed the lack of notifications and the usual alarms I had set for each morning. Not so typical. I attempted to unlock my phone with Touch ID, which didn't work, so I proceeded to manually type in my passcode. Interesting. It was then that I noticed I had no service, no text messages, no missed calls, and no nothing that would've made it apparent that I had any human contact. Very, very untypical. I quickly brushed it off though and just decided that maybe my phone was acting up. Whatever.

I made the choice to lug myself out of bed and peep outside my window. The sky had a strange yellow tinge and it reminded me of those cheesy zombie apocalypse movies. And frankly, by the lack of life out there, I could've been convinced it was. I didn't even see Old Man Jenkins™️ (I don't know his actual name, okay?), the nice elderly man across the street from us that might've had dementia. He always sat outside with his oriental shorthair (if you don't know what they look like, google it. They're hella adorable- continuing on-), but apparently not on that fine Sunday morning. But once again, I was like whatever.

Realizing there was nothing interesting outside, I decided to mosey on downstairs to check in with my family.

That's when I started to realize that things were a little more "unusual" than I thought.

Neither of my siblings, nor my mom and dad were anywhere to be seen. Our dog Poptart (don't ask) also seemed to have vanished. All of their belongings seemed to be where they should be, yet there was no trace of them actually being there for days. After searching more thoroughly through my house than just standing there in the middle of my living room, I declared that I was allowed to panic. I hoped that it was just a super messed prank since I wasn't very fond of the idea that my family either A) abandoned me, or B) something bad happened to them and they disappeared without a trace. Both options made me feel sick to my stomach, and I was on the verge on hyperventilating. Out of all things in the world, being alone was one of my biggest fears. I couldn't stand the fact that it might've become true.

All of a sudden, without thinking, I ran straight to my front door and swung it open, stepping directly into a mud puddle. I noticed how cold and uncomfortable the weather was, so I decided that my 15 seconds outside was plenty. When I soon tried for the doorknob, I realized that the door didn't open. I yanked the handle as hard as I could a few times, but it wouldn't budge. And so once again, being the disaster I am, I started to panic. And alas, with my fingers getting numb and the rain making my hands too slippery to function, I gave up.

I just sort of sat there, defeated on my porch, praying to anything out there that this might've been a dream. I realized about 15 pathetic minutes later though that I needed to do something other than get drenched on my doorstep.

I somehow managed to get myself off the ground and started heading north into the city. It was really unfortunate that I was still in my pajamas though.

God, I really should've brought a sweater.