Water Whiskey

chapter 3

Sean and I spoke about the weather and everything that comes with casual small talk. 'How's work? How's your mother? How come you haven't invested in a life and why are you living alone?'
The usual depressing conversation that ends in either awkward laughter or both parties wincing at the fact that they are losers.

Sean got up to go to the fridge to get a drink.

"Felix do you want anything from the kitchen?" A small voice hummed from the other room.
I smiled at the ring of my ears and hurried to the kitchen to help with anything the Irish boy needed. I stopped at the over head, looking at the boys body movements.

'Well, I didn't realize how nice his-' my thoughts we're interrupted by an accent calling out to me.

"Felix!" He said in an upset cry. "You've been drinking again haven't you?"

I stood there staring into his eyes. Sean had an angry yet sorrowful look on his face. As if I had broke my leg and slapped him all in the same second. I hesitated, the words I wanted to say didn't seem to come out. I said nothing.

"Felix." The tone in his voice was softer now. Lighter. Almost as if he felt bad. Sean stepped toward me, pulling me into a hug. "How long have you been drinking again?" He asked simply, releasing the hug to look me in the eye.

His eyes. His beautiful blue eyes were distracting me. I hadn't said a word in 3 minutes. I knew it was likely annoying the boy so I finally spoke.

"Two months.." I say, my voice cracking under the pressure. I felt so vulnerable. Part of me was entirely regretting hanging out with Sean today. It wasn't because I didn't like seeing him. I just hated that I disappointed him.

"Oh Felix, why didn't you tell me? I could've helped you." He said.

I saw no lie.

I faltered. Disappointed in myself. Upset with him for finding my beer. Mad at myself for not hiding them somewhere less out in the open. At least a bit relieved that I had my whiskey and vodka hidden.

"Sean. I'm so sorry." I said coldly, staring past him.