*3rd person*
I believe there is a god, that there is someone watching over us, that there is someone who answers our prayers, someone who created the world. Now I don't go to church, I'm not catholic, I just believe there is someone there.
I sit in a low lit room where there are candles around me, my posture is strong, my mind is at ease, I am as calm as can be. I take deep breaths as I prey, prey that tomorrow will be better, that tomorrow will be filled with happiness and no pain, a day where nothing bad happens. Although sometimes are preys aren't answered and we get the opposite of what we prey for, we wake up in pain, pain and sadness all day long, lack of sleep, lack of food, lack of socializing. Isolating yourself in a dark room, alone.....with your thoughts. Scared that you will go out one day and get hit by a bus, one day where you just die and realize that this is it. This is the end, I haven't even said my goodbyes to my family and friends, so you write a note for the day if you just die in an accident. But you move forward, you continue with the life filled with pain, the life with.a bad childhood, a painful teenage life, being forced to drop out of school. We just move on.......
(This is all true, now don't Throw hate at me please, I have been through a lot and no I'm not suicidal I could never imagine leaving my friends and family with that. I have been sick for a long time, it has taken all the laughter and smiles out of me....all I feel is pain, I try to hide it but some days I can't. It is hard, it's hard to act like the pain isn't happening because it happens all the time, weather it's light pain or intense pain, it's always there. My sickness has forced me to do online schooling because as much as I would love to go back I can't, I can't risk missing days because I'm sick, I would just fail my grade 10 class. But this was just a way to express how I feel....please understand I just wanted to say something)
