Mathilde

As you know, I'm really into you.

I am aware that you prefer boys, but I'm taking advantage of this attraction. It's the first time that what I'm feeling is this strong, even though I don't know you, I am fully conscious of that. It is only an attraction, of course, because it is, in my opinion, impossible, to fall for someone you don't know.

Do you only know how gorgeous you are ?
You are, for me, the prettiest girl that I've ever met. Your skin is pale, and bare of any imperfection. Your chocolate-brown eyes are circled by a pair of circular glasses. Your face is kinda round, and it gives you an innocent appearance, added to a child's candor. Your smile is so delicate, it is an entire part of your apparent innocence. I didn't spend a long time looking at your body, your face being my favourite part of your anatomy to admire, but I can say that you got a perfect morphology. You're not one of these super-thin mannequins, and you're neither overweighted, no, you're far away from this state.

I guess what you're thinking : "This girl's gone mad, thinking about me this way !" But I prefer this to the common boys' thoughts : "Dat ass tho !" Not your case ? Okay, then.

You're probably thinking that I'm dumb, that I'm uselessly hurting myself, well-knowing that we'll never be together, and that I'd better forget this crush. I am aware that I'll never be allowed to touch you, hug you, or even kiss you, and that on top of that, you're already crushing on a boy from your boxing lessons. But even knowing that, I don't want to forget you, not now. Do you know why ? Because I like how my body reacts towards you. Not like "you turn me on", surely not. I like feeling my pulse getting stronger and stronger, until I feel like my heart's gonna break my ribs, and feeling my belly twist in a delicious pain, each time I see you at school. I like feeling my cheeks burning and blushing when you're near, or when someone in my group of friends talks about you, I love loving seeing you smile, or laugh. It's the first time I'm feeling this for a person from my common everyday life, and I want to keep this feeling until I'm sure I won't see you anymore, well, next year.

I hope you don't hate me for feeling this, I'm not trying to hide, but I don't want to show myself either, I don't want this to become awkward for you. I have this need of being honest with you, which makes you the one I wanna talk with about what I'm feeling for you.

Well, that's it, here's all I wanted to tell you, what was on my mind.

-A.

25/05/2018