Timing just isn't our thing

When we first met, you had your thing with a guy and I was swearing off love while getting over a girl. Seldom was there a thought of you in my mind as a romantic interest, yet you certainly had a way about you in my eyes. I truly enjoyed our times together watching Brooklyn, seeing the cliffs, standing outside Larkin's while the sunset turned the sea into a masterpiece, and even watching The Proposal. They're all very fond memories looking back. The one that shines brightest in my heart would undoubtedly be visiting you at work when we spent your break talking under the lantern-lit canopy.

The times we've met in between then and now have all been brief, but happened often enough that I started seeing you just a tiny bit more through a romantic lens with each one. No doubt because we picked up where we left off in terms of comfortability and friendliness, having our serenely exuberant conversations. My heart jumped a little higher each time I heard you'd be around.

Now, a mere week before we saw each other at your brother's wedding, your beloved daddy suddenly passed. You can be damn sure that my feelings for you have not come about from my compassion for you in the midst of this tragic occurrence. It had been months that I'd so been looking forward to seeing you at the wedding. I certainly do, however, feel a great urge to be here for you and you have become more dear to me in the wake of it.

I would have, at the wedding, tested the waters and flirted (as well as a homeschooler can). However, I decided it best to not try and start something at the moment. I want to keep that option open, but, for the foreseeable future, I simply desire to be there for you in this the worst of times - a circumstance, by misfortune, of which I can relate to.

     Your family has done so much for me. I've lived with your parents, your brother, and even stayed those several days with you. I owe as much to stand by you for as long and as much as is needed to your indisputably amazing father, who mentored me during the largest turning point of my life.

Thus, I must be there as a true friend for anything I can do, yet, at the same time, not get myself friend zoned and eliminate what might be when the appropriate time dawns upon us. I hope you like the traveling life, because I'm pretty sure I'll be able to join the circus if I pull off this tightrope act. It'll be a difficult path ridden with obstacles, but the benefits would be some of the best of our lives.

May his joy live on in you,