hello hi.
it's been a hot minute, and i've evolved.
my leave was basically me struggling through life, finding out who i was and somewhat finding out my sexuality (still am. ha.), and accepting myself for who i am and for the mental illnesses have after finding out in therapy.
to go into detail, i found out that i am gender fluid, and i'm okay with that. i love me for me, and if you don't like that, you do you. i won't judge you for it unless you get rude. then i'll be a little upseti spaghetti. and if anything, i'm experimenting since she/her pronouns don't sound right sometimes. if anything, just refer to me as they/them for now.
as for my sexuality, i might be bi? i dunno yet, but girls and boys are great and ahhh. i just like the idea of dating boys and girls because both are just so cool and lovely and ahhh. i'm having a big panic because i also don't like the idea of romance sometimes and would rather just date someone but without a lot of the romance stuff and i dunno anymore. if anything, i'm still figuring it all out and still have a long way to go, so it's all good.
but anyways, i go to therapy now. i'm starting to get better, even though it's a really slow process. i found out that i have depression and anxiety with self harm tendencies, but i've accepted myself. i haven't fully been like "okay that's me yep." since i'm still getting used to it, but hey, at least i'm starting a healing process. i really don't know how to feel, but all i know is that i'm getting help.
also, (god this is all over the place) i've been making new friends and i've found so many lgbtq+ people in my school (okay, five isn't that much, but that's a lot if you're considering the fact that there are a lot of repressing people in my school or people using really bad slurs that i don't like) and i'm really proud of them and i want to hug them all? like, i want to adopt them and send them off as my proud children and i'm really sad because one of them is leaving me soon and i can't.
also also, about (possibly. you never know) being bi, can i just say that girls are so great. like, they're so pretty and funny and nice and just ahhh. can i just give them all hugs and tell them that they're doing great sweetie? like, ahhh. i'm having a big bi(?) panic and i love it.
okay, so that's it i guess. i'm proud to be back and to be who i am, so be proud of yourself too! you're probably really pretty and i'm going to adopt you so that you can't think otherwise because i will prove that you're great because you really are so please don't listen to those who could tell you otherwise because you're so great and pretty and wonderful and you're such a joy to be around and ahhh.
sorry for being so all over the place, i'm just in a really happy mood so now i feel really hyper and i've never been this hyper before and oh no here we go again.
i love you all so much (if anyone still reads this. if you're reading this right now, hello!)!!!
stay awesome and be yourself.
because being you is great so be yourself because you're great and pretty and a.joy to this world and ahhh i love you all my children.
goodbye!
