The Klutz

Chapter Four: I'm Lost

My family and I have been here a couple of weeks now. And Mark was still holding a grudge towards me. He was always rolling his eyes at me especially at school and would not talk to me ever when I went over to clean his house. That bike must've meant a lot to him. What does it matter though. He's just being a stuck up, spoiled little rich kid is what he's being. Accidentally broke his toy so he goes and cries to his mommy that he needs a new one. Pathetic,and it really doesn't help that he's mean. If he wasn't mean my whole attitude towards him would change but nope he decides to be a jerk. What's weird is I'll be in class and he sits behind me. And I can just feel his eyes pouring into the back of my head. But I don't dare turn around to look so basically that's just suspicion. Today I decide to go to church. It's pretty much winter now. It's the middle of November and it's really cold. Thank god most things are close by or I'd freeze to death.

I don't do anything with my hair I just let it fall. I throw on a pink sweater, my boots, and a jacket. And I'm ready to go. It's pretty early in the morning still so I go wake up Dad.

"Dad," I shake him trying to get him to wake.

"Dad," I shake him even harder,"come on it's a new day."

I hear him moan and know that he's determined not to get up. I push open the one curtain of the small window he has in his room and white light streams through it. It's snowing.

"Dad," I'm losing my temper,"Dad get up! Come on! You need to get a job!"

He slowly groans and sits up in his bed I see still clasped in his hand is a bottle of whiskey he must've fallen asleep with it. I see it and he knows I see it. I stomp over to him and rip it out of his old wrinkly hand.

"I can't believe you!" I yell at him." You said you were done with this! Why can't you just try!?Huh? Why can't you just try to get a job?! Or try to do better!?" I'm really angry.

He bows his head and I hear him sniffling back tears. I can't handle it when a guy cries. I realize they do I mean they have emotions too. But they're supposed to be strong that's why they're not known for crying so much. So when a guy cries you know it's pretty bad. It tears me up.

"I'm trying," he says in almost a whisper.

"Try harder," I say.

I turn to the door and angrily throw the whiskey bottle into the trash can next to his door. It lands with a crash and the glass breaks.I stomp out of the apartment. I can't think. But all these thoughts are racing into my mind. I'm so mad at my dad. How could he? How could he? I just keep walking. I don't even think about going to church but I just keep walking in the snow. It's freezing cold out but I don't even notice because I'm burning with anger. I needed to cool off or I would've said something back there that I shouldn't. I keep walking and keep walking as each step leaves a small imprint in the sparkling white snow. I can't believe him. I keep walking and keep walking. I don't even look behind me. My hands are balled in fists. Ugh! I push back tears. No. I think to myself that I won't let the past get to me. Not anymore.

Finally. I stop and think and I look around. I'm very lost.I'm lost on the inside with my dad. But I'm also literally lost I have no idea where I am.

I must've been walking faster than I thought. Some people are giving me some strange looks and a lot of them are very big men. I turn and run towards I don't know where. I stop when I see a tree and run towards there. I don't see a lot of buildings insight and the ones I do see don't seem like the kindest. I run towards the tree but slip when I'm about and inch away from it. I land on my butt and reach for the tree branch to lift me up but my feet slip from under me again and the tree branch scratches me leaving a big gash on my arm. I don't bother getting up again. I just scoot in the snow to get under the tree.