🍁If i knew🍁 [one shot-Chanbaek~Eng version]

If i knew

If I knew that tomorrow I'm not going to meet you again instead of all of those days that we spent together and I pretended so foolishly that I have no idea that you love me, I would have told you a thousand times that just because of you my black and white life is filled with shimmering colors.

I would have told you that I might be talkative and stupid but I am sorry because although I talk too much but I never say the things that I should...

It seems like yesterday...we were sitting on that stone bench in our neighborhood's park. That was the place that we used to visit since being children and we had to come here every once in a while...

I was feeling cold and kept shaking my legs because I thought that way I would get warmer, I even tried blowing my warm breath in my hands but it was useless.

You suddenly grabbed my hand and made my heart jump at its place and then you started blowing on them...

Suddenly I felt so warm I was even sweating...you kept on blowing them once or twice more and I remember thinking how can someone hold so much warmth in his mere breaths?

You turned to look at me and noticed my surprised look. Then your big eyes which always glittered like a starry night got filled with laughter.

-how can a boy have such pretty hands?

It was not the first time you told me this but still I felt uneasy and embarrassed.

I didn't say anything and just looked down, but you didn't let go and started caressing the back of my hand with your thumb.

-can your hands be mine?

I felt like bursting into tears at that moment. I was so scared of ruining everything...so scared of ruining what we had...I didn't want to lose my only friend.

I pulled my hand away and laughed embarrassed.

-there you go again...

I stared at me with lips laughing and eyes filled with sorrow.

-sorry...I won't say it again...

I am really sorry for not telling you that I think my hands were made to be lost inside yours...

Because yesterday I didn't know about tomorrow...

The day before yesterday you took me to Disney land...I remember having a fight with my dad and being really pissed off. I called you to rant about it but couldn't bring myself to do so...but as always you didn't need to hear it, you knew it just by my tone.

Half an hour later you were at our doorsteps. You were smiling ear to ear...one of those smiles that I hated with all my heart.

-let's hang out baek!

And I just followed you.

You made me try a lot of scary rides which terrified me and laughed at me like crazy. You even took pictures of me at the most embarrassing moments and right at the time when I thought I'm so done with you, you smacked your stupid cotton candy on my face and made it stick there.

I hated you!

I shouted at you and said you are stupid and senseless. You just looked down like a little kid and let me throw it all on you.

When I was out of breath you looked up.

-how about going to a karaoke!?

I didn't know how could you look at me like that after all of the things I yelled at you...like I'm something special...like I'm the only thing worth looking at...like even when I'm cursing you, you are enjoying it...