Breaking Free

2

The night was cool and silent, with a strong, chilly breeze flowing through the trees that were planted either side of Potter Manor. James was lying on the bare floor of the terrace, his arms behind his head as he gazed up at the sliver of the moon which was visible in an otherwise starless sky. The events of that morning were playing in his mind and judging by Lily's reaction, he wished he had kept all his feelings to himself.

It was strange, he thought. The need to tell someone about yourself and then regretting it the instant they knew. As long as it was within him, the burden was his alone to carry. Now he had made his little sister share a part of it. Some kind of brother he was! But as usual, she always gave him the best advice. It was nothing he didn't know of course yet, coming from someone else was still a good feeling to have.

"Talk to Dad!" she had said.

James knew he absolutely had to talk to his father, but the problem was he had no idea where to start. It was pretty difficult to have lived most part of your life believing in something and suddenly feeling as if it wasn't right. That was exactly how James felt about becoming an Auror.

School had never been a problem for him. He excelled at almost everything he touched, which undoubtedly won him a lot of admirers but, as he realized now, lost him a great many friends. At school, his father had very close friends in Uncle Ron and Aunt Hermione. Teddy made friends with literally everyone, him being all likeable and all. Albus had a true friend in Scorpius and even Lily had at least one friend who was closer than the rest. But he, James never had a friend whom he could invite to spend the holidays, or go on a trip or at the least hang out. That person had been Teddy but after he had graduated from Hogwarts, James came to realize that there was no one else.

Ever since his first year, everyone around him would boast about how he would one day go on to become a great Auror and surpass his father, the great Harry Potter. When he was a child, he used to be proud at such comments. Now, he felt just sick and angry.

He suddenly felt a mild stinging pain his right cheek and sat up with a start, slapping his cheek only to find tiny ant. James groaned. Even the ants wouldn't let him be at peace for a few minutes.

"Enjoying the view, are we?"

James looked up to see his father, in his night clothes, walk over to him. He held two Butterbeers, one which he offered to James, who accepted. Harry sat down on the floor and gave a tired yawn as he stretched out his legs, back rested against the side wall.

James moved from his place and settled down against the wall, beside Harry.

"Not much to enjoy," he said, staring at the moving branches of one of the trees.

"I believe you have something to get off your chest?" said Harry.

James froze. His father was never one for subtleties but still the abruptness of his statement was disarming.

"Lily told you?" queried James.

Harry shook his head. "Your mother. She says that you have been kind of down since Christmas."

James smiled sadly. "Mum noticed, huh?" She had tried to get him to talk in different ways but he had always come up with an excuse to avoid the subject.

"Yeah, she did. I am sorry that I didn't. I am not very good at those kinds of things," said Harry.

James smiled again, internally. He knew that his father was trying to lighten the mood so that he, James, would be comfortable enough to speak whatever it was he wanted to speak.

"Is it a...er, girl?" asked Harry.

James looked at him with a mildly amused expression.

"Or a boy. It doesn't really matter to us." Harry had gone extremely red in the face.