A/N In this fiction Dom is 20. Letty and Mia are 17. Dom has just been sentenced to Lompoc. Dom and Letty slept together before Lompoc. It is a deleted and altered scene from my story Life Without You. It contains no spoilers for that story.
*****Trigger warning does contain issues which may be sensitive to some readers so proceed with caution. ****
Letty's POV
Two months passed quickly and I was beginning to feel exhausted. This was hard. Last month we'd barely scraped by. This time I was trying to add up everything we owed before the end of the month. I had always been useless at maths and now I hated that I hadn't worked harder at it. Budgeting was hard work and a life skill they didn't teach at school. I refused to put the burden on Mia. I couldn't let her know how much pressure we were actually under.
I got up early one dreary Wednesday with a throbbing headache and a queasy stomach. I was either hungry or too full. The former was more likely. I retched over the toilet and lay on the cool floor of the bathroom as the cold sweat stuck to my back and face. Being sick wasn't an option for me right now so I forced myself to my feet and made myself carry on. A day off sick was a day without pay which we could not afford.
I skipped breakfast and lifted the sandwich Mia had made me last night for lunch. Waking Mia I headed on out to the garage on foot. Seven in the morning was far too early a start. Yet it was the only option I had. A workforce of one person in a garage couldn't make money fast without putting in the hours. Hours which I didn't mind working.
The whole day I felt dreadful as I stood bent beneath the bonnet of cars and lay beneath them.
That night as I lay in bed after dinner, claiming to Mia I wanted an early night, something clicked with me...
I hadn't had a period since I slept with Dom.
My half closed eyes flew open and I placed my hands on my stomach. My still flat stomach.
I couldn't be.
Could I?
My stomach churned unpleasantly with worry. With Dom in prison, this was definitely not the time for a baby. Mia needed to stay in school, make something of herself. I needed to work to pay the bills. Garage work would really hurt me whilst I was pregnant but I wasn't qualified for anything else. There was nothing else I was any good at. Cars just spoke to me and I understood how to fix them intuitively.
Plus a baby meant another mouth to feed. A hungry little mouth. A baby meant devoting time and energy into another person. As horrible as the thought was I didn't have that time or energy to devote to another person.
The practical albeit selfish thoughts about money and time weighed heavily on me. It was hateful and heartless. I knew a baby was a blessing and he or she would bring wonderful things into my life. I would be a Mother and this little person would love me unconditionally and look at me with all consuming love in their eyes. I knew I would look at them like a little angel. I knew I would love them to pieces. Yet I could not silence the practical side of me who argued that babies cost money. Money I didn't have.
I was a woman divided. What to do?
Even the good thoughts about a baby were tainted with all my practical concerns like who would look after the baby whilst I worked. I'd be damned if Mia gave up an education. I didn't know what to do.
Then there was Dom. The man I had always loved from afar. What would he say? Would he be angry? Of course he'd be angry! We were a one night thing no matter how much I'd hoped for more. We'd never gotten to go on our date.
However this was Dom. Dom loved children. He'd always wanted a big family. I knew he wanted mini Dom's to take to the stockcar track at the weekends and to take to the garage to tune up cars. I knew he wanted girly girls like Mia. Girls to show off and dress up and be proud of. I knew Dom would love any child of his.
