A Lost Opportunity

Dear James G.,

You were the first person who ever made me feel special for just being myself. I had no idea that you liked me until the day I heard our friends teasing you to "ask her, ask her", and you did. You ignored their teasing and asked me to stay after school, even though I looked very different from the way I had the day before. You looked past my new glasses and didn't "see" how my mom had chopped off my long hair. You quietly told me how much you liked me, even though two of your buddies were outside watching us from across the way.

I was so surprised when you asked me to go out with you, I had no idea what to do or say. You were so patient when I asked if I could give you my answer the next day. I ran home and told my parents, but my father reminded me that I was not allowed to date until I was sixteen and ordered me to refuse. I was so afraid to face you the next day. I wish I had found a way to talk with you privately before our classmates pounced to hear my answer.

I'll never forget the way you quietly looked down at your desk as you heard me tell them that I couldn't do as you asked. You didn't get angry, and you didn't give up. I can never convey to you how much your continued attentions meant to me. You never made me feel "less than" for my refusal. You kept smiling at me and that made all the difference in the world. You gave me hope.

You see, my life at home was soul crushing. My father thought that cooking and cleaning was "women's work" so my five brothers refused to do any chores. My mother tried everything she could to teach them otherwise, but his attitude undercut her authority, leaving her feeling powerless. His attitude regarding women as objects of desire tainted my relationship with him, and consequently with my brothers, as well. I never felt safe, except at school.

When you encouraged me to go to the sock hop in junior high and asked me to save you a dance, you gave me the strength to ask my parents. And when I asked for permission to go my father said yes and even offered to drive me! I was so excited! I thought that, for once, I would do something other girls my age did. Then he walked into the dance and stayed, making sure that I danced only with him.

You never left my side that night and made sure to speak to me whenever we saw each other at school afterwards. Remembering your kindness kept me from drowning in depression in the years that followed, especially after I dropped out of school.

Thank you for choosing to care for me. Your loving heart saved my life.

Love always,

Martha P.