The Life of a Kuwaiti Lesbian

A walk down memory lane

    SEXUALITY TEASER
As a kid I've always had this sexual attraction to a specific gender. I don't know if islam played a role in my sexuality or if it was merely genetics. I used to attend an all girl school. I vaguely remember the butterflies I'd get whenever a girl used to play with my hair. I didn't know that the feelings that I was getting was considered wrong. Everyone in my family would think that I had a crush on my cousin because I used to hang out with him a lot. I didn't confirm or deny it because it used to make me feel normal. It blows my mind whenever I think about it due to the fact that I used my cousin as a beard.
     NOW LETS TALK ABOUT DEPRESSION
I used to have a bad case of depression as a kid. I was abused when I was in elementary, middle and high school. Each year I'd get less abused than the year before it. I was abused from 2nd to 5th grade by my mother. This effected me badly by being antisocial,quiet and reserved. My dad would always tell me that I was so quiet as a kid. In 7th grade my dad punched, slapped and kicked me just because I saw a PG-13 movie. This made me hate my father. I'd pray that he'd get sick so he could just die and that I'd live peacefully. Once, when I was 11 I got really sick to the point that I can't breathe. When I went to the hospital the doctor told my mom that if I went to the hospital an hour late, then I would've died. I clearly remember the regret I felt that I didn't die at that moment so god would've freed me from this hell hole I was living in. I used to hate the fact that I'm a girl and by default I'm inferior to the male population. Islam messed up with my mind so badly that It took me years just to accept who I really am. Till this day women are treated badly just because they are females and not males. As a kid, I'd wish I was a guy just so I could get treated better. I prayed to god to give me diabetes so my parents would at least care about me. Who would treat their children differently just because they have different genders? No one sane would do that! I was mistreated by Muslim parents who followed Islam. In their mind they're just following God's will. Which is pretty fucked up... I'm born into a sexist family that gave me severe depression growing up.