Can't You Feel The Love

ONE

'I can't do this anymore'
.
.
.
That's all I could think about for the past half an hour. I'm tried. Will they never leave me? Will they always follow me? Will they ever just stop?

It didn't seem so. I almost always felt exposed. Was I not allowed my privacy when they can have their's? It only seems fair to ask.

I'm tried of being followed every time I step outside my house. I'm tried of being the talk of the town or whatever else they call it. Tried of finding out things about my own family through the bloody internet because they're being followed too. Because of me. They need their privacy. They need space. I need space.

I guess it comes with the fame and popularity. Being one of the lead singer-songwriters in the country has its consequences. And they are starting to take a toll on me.

I want my space . I crave it.

The best way to achieve that? Vacation. Someplace not many people know me. Somewhere people wouldn't be able to recognise me. Someplace i can be free. Somwhere i can be me.

And that was exactly what I'm going to tell my label. My manager, Paul, already agreed. He said I needed time off. Time to find myself again. And this was the best time  since I'm now free of all my tour commitments. The last album's tour ended just two days ago and I had just gotten home, but only to find the paparazzi everywhere. I've been thinking about this vacation since the beginning of the tour and spoke to Paul about it soon after the idea grew in me.

I was going to convince my label that I need a break and am going to go on a long-ass vacation, and I'm going to go alone. That's what I need- time for myself. 

.

As I walked into the cool air conditioned lobby of my record label, escaping the summer heat of LA, all I could think about was how i was going to convince them to let go on holiday. When I told Paul about the much needed break, he did mention that the label wanted to do a few more concerts at random, across the country, after the tour ended. Their main concern about me taking a vacation would be the cancellation of these concerts.

The receptionist, Karen, greeted me with the her usual bright smile and informed me that everybody was already there and waiting in conference room 6 on the top floor. 

The chatter dimmed to a silence as I walked into the room. I could already feel the tension in the air. Of course Paul had already told them the reason for this sudden meeting. 

"So, Paul has briefed us about the situation" said Mark, as I took a seat next to Paul. 

"Well that's good. What do you say?"

"You want a break,you can have one," mark said, "but what about the 4 concerts we wanted to have? You did agree to do those."

"And I will. You did say they will be over in the span of a week. After that though, I want to be off the radar for atleast 3 months. I'll come back, maybe even with a few songs for a new album," I said, "but right now, I wanna be off." 

***

"Hey mom!" 

"Hey, darling! What is it that I can do for you today?" mom replied. I could tell by her tone that she knew that something was up.

"I just called. How are things back home? I miss your Sunday special pie!"

"We're good, darling, and we miss you too. Now tell me. What is the real reason for your call?" she asked. It was amazing how she knew everything about me without even me telling her. Says my voice tells her everything about me. Mothers.

"I'm taking a break. I'm going on vacation. I haven't decided as to where yet, but I've got a few places in mind."

"That's great, darling. Its about time you started thinking about yourself. You should look after yourself. I'm glad your doing this, and I'm sure your father will be too, when he finds out." she says, "I know that you've been looking forward to it since the beginning of your tour."