walk away - l.s

one

harry's point of view

Its mid August and my friends are over for a get together, its difficult to make time in summer. Kyle, my boyfriend, was away for two weeks in Italy visiting his relatives, Nick was in Spain to escape the cold weather in England, Zayn was also visiting his relatives and Jason was in France. This left me. My parents find it hard to get time off work so I was alone, the timezones and the fact that they were busy made it difficult to call them. Its nice having them here now.

I lean my head against Kyle's shoulder, look around at my friends and I'm at ease.

"You seem bored." Kyle tilts his head, whispering in my ear

"Nope, just comfortable. And thinking." I reply

"About what?" he asks

"You." I respond, sentimentally, "And the others, of course, I just like being here, with you, and them. Its comforting." I continue, trying not to sound too clingy. Of course I like him, a lot, maybe its not love and maybe I'm too young to know however I know for certain that he's a man I'm capable of loving, I think. Maybe its my youth. I shouldn't have thought certain because I'm too young to think, for certain. My train of thought is interrupted.

"Styles is being a sap!" Kyle shouts. I turn red and bury my face into his chest to laugh a little, laughing because they're my friends and it doesn't matter but, as anyone would be, I'm embarrassed. 

"Why and how?" Jason asks

"He says he's happy to be here with his friends and its comforting," Kyle teases as he imitates my voice, faking a gag at the end to mock how cheesy the situation is, "you know I'm joking, sweetheart?" he says, quiet enough for only me to hear so I nod, laughing a bit. I can only take his words as a joke, he's my boyfriend, he would never hurt me.

"He's a cutie, no homo," Zayn compliments

"Better not be, he's Kyle's, they're sweet together" Nick says. It's reassuring to hear that everybody thinks we have good chemistry.

"Well, Harry seems tired and my mum wants me home soon," Jason says, "I best leave soon,"

Zayn and Nick agree and in enough time they're gone too. Me and Kyle are alone, without my parents. I find it difficult to say that I could more than just like him because right now, being alone with him, I know want he wants to do a big part of me wants the same but I just can't. It's a youth thing, I hope.

I feel the tension in the air. He always knows how I feel because he knows me and right now I feel awkward so in attempt to break the thick layer of tension, he kisses me. I don't kiss back straight away. I know it's wrong of me, he's my boyfriend and if he can sense I'm worried, he worries and I don't want to hurt him because I care about him. I gently kiss back then pull away.

"I'm getting tired, you should go," I say apologetically.

He sighs, taking a step back, "Harry, do you want to be with me? Or is this relationship just a bit of fun to you? When it's you and I alone, you push me away! How am I supposed to feel?"

I stand there, speechless. "I-I'm just uncomfortable and I-" I pause, taking in the words he said before, "I-Is this a breakup?" I ask, my voice cracking.

"I am just asking you if you want to be with me or if this doesn't really matter to you" he replies, hurt.

I have tears spiking my eyes, "Yes, one hundred times yes!" I cry, "I'm just scared, I don't wanna get hurt," my voice dips in volume, tears streaming down my face.

He steps towards me and holds me, "I will never, ever intentionally hurt you," he whispers into my ear, "Understand?" he questions

"Yes, I like you a lot. I just don't wanna fuck it up," I say

He pulls away from the hug, his hand on my cheek and his hazel eyes stare into my green ones, "Right now, there's very little you could do to mess this up. You're the best person I've met, ever, which is why I'm with you. Don't be afraid," and that's exactly what I'm afraid of. I'm the best he's had so far, not in his life. I'm afraid of finding someone new, walking away from him. I'm 16, soon 17. I have all the time in the rest of my life to find someone new and I don't want either of us to find someone else because it would hurt both of us, because someone else being more perfect for him or I is something neither of us can control. I want to be perfect for him and for him to be perfect for me, badly, but something isn't right. It's as if there's a sand timer running out and when it does, something will go wrong.

standing on the world outside, caught up in a love landslide

a/n: fucking hell i wrote part 1 and 2 for this ages ago and i'm gonna try and finish it. i published it for like a day at first and then unpublished it because i'm an absolute coward ahah.. please point out any mistakes i make!! i'm really noT a good writer and this is the first fic i plan to finish <33