What About Us?

Hi.

I'm not sure where to start.

The thing is, I guess I've had a crush on you for the past two years.

We had been good friends for a while before I realized that the butterflies I got in my stomach were because of you.

At first, I wanted to reject it and shove it under my metaphorical carpet like I always do.

But I couldn't ignore the feelings I got whenever I saw you.

I decided that it was just the undetectable pheromones that somehow attracted me to you and that I would get over the "honeymoon" feelings.

But they didn't go away.

It's been about two and and a half years, and I still can't describe the way you make me feel.

I mean, I've had other small crushes and gotten over them, but you're different.

And now I don't know what to do because I've never really had a boyfriend before.

I've never asked anyone to be my boyfriend before.

And, in some ways, that's a good thing.

But right now, it isn't.

And admitting my feelings for you isn't the worst part.

What will your sister think of me? We've been friends for a good while now, and it's bound to make things awkward between us.

What about our parents? Mine don't want me to date until I'm out of high school. Will your parents want me as your girlfriend?

Will I be able to juggle my grades, swim team, marching band, and personal life along with our relationship?

We've been in most of the same classes for years; I've gotten so used to being near you. Earlier, I thought we were nearly identical, intellectually and emotionally, and so I believed we wouldn't have gotten well together; after all, opposites attract, not the other way around.

But as we went into freshman year, I realized there was a huge gap between us.

You're talented in science and technology, whereas I am talented in the liberal arts; we were placed in different classes, and I only got to see you in two of my periods.

Now you're going to college, and it feels like you're leaving me behind.

It feels like you're rushing life and leaving me in the dust.

We were supposed to be sophomores together.

What about homecoming or prom?

What about the memories we could have created?

I must admit, high school is horrible, but we suffer through it together.

And I don't know if I can make it this year without you.

I didn't want to tell you how I feel because I didn't want things to change.

Because change can be for better or worse.

And I was not willing to take that chance.

Until now.